Why would I do any favors for her after the damage she's inflicted?

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IWasNeverReallyHere

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HPD M wants me to mow the lawns for the house inspection tomorrow. They donít need mowing. I did them a week ago and I wasnít happy about it. Why should I do any favors for her given what she's done to me and what she's doing now?

She's significantly damaged my life, not to mention the destruction she's done to herself and others by dragging them into her Ďdramasí and Ďcrisesí that never really existed! She's used me as a scapegoat, smeared me to family, constantly gaslighted me, abused me, alienated me from my B's family and my niece and nephew. And now, she's suddenly selling her property and kicking me out, knowing very well that she has picked the worst timing, knowing Iím agoraphobic and knowing damn well I really donít have anywhere to go! All so she can rule over me.

Iím going to have to get counselling to talk about and deal with how this has affected me. Iíve gone onto an SSRI. The relationships I had may never be the same, just to name a few. However, I know all too well she's not interested in considering or accepting any responsibility for any damage she's inflicted upon me. Damage that was totally unnecessary and avoidable, when I havenít caused her any damage in the least! And more significantly, I had nothing to do with any of Ďthisí in the first place?

So, why on earth would I want to do any favors for her or for the place Iíve called home that she's now kicking me out of? She's kicking herself out too for that matter and for no good reason I might add... I'd rather dump and spread my trash onto her lawn for the inspection than mow them! ;D Best not to add fuel to the fire though.

I can already hear her response. Something along the lines of, 'Thatís not good enough. I want them done! Youíre not paying board anymore, so you need to do extra jobs while youíre still living here, otherwise you can leave!' The infantilization is pathetic.

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Aingeal

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Re: Why would I do any favors for her after the damage she's inflicted?
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2018, 02:00:00 PM »
I'm so sorry this is happening to you.  My NPDm is trying a lot of things to get me to comply with her demands regarding the upkeep of the house (I'm living in at the moment) that she said was my/and brothers inheritance. 

She moved in to Senior living and tried to leave me "holding the bag" - on the hook for all the Expenses, property taxes etc etc that weren't my legal responsibility.   

That failed and now she wants to sell it (multiple buyers in her mind - reality is there are zero offers for this old place).  Of course she'd love to kick me out .... but.... thanks to many wonderful board members here  ;D I found out NPDm can't just toss me out.  She must give legal notice for an eviction.   And then I have the right to appeal.  And there must be a certain amount of time given in the notice.  My Nmom told me at the end of 2017 she was selling this house and I'd be out by June 1, 2018.

... she hasn't done anything yet..... but has tried to force me into buying it several times through manipulation and outright lies  :sadno:

(I received fantastic advice when I posted "rug out from under me")

Some attorneys give free consultations - I received free advice from my local Bar Association.

Check with social services nearby for housing help.  or through counseling as they have access to other resources or may know someone who could help with new living arrangements.  I did  almost all I needed through the computer  ;)  That helps when you're trying to be secretive around Nmom.

I think my Nmom's goal was financial abuse but I grey rocked every conversation with her so her manipulation tactics wouldn't work  8-)

P.s.  Screw the lawn.  You don't have a signed contract to cut (or over cut) the lawn in lieu of board.

I stopped doing my Nmom favors.  If she is trying to destroy me financially or otherwise - - I'm not going to help her!


I forgot to mention that I am the family scapegoat almost estranged from my brothers /nieces and nephews because of mother's  lies and pitting  everyone against each other over the family home.  Thought things were okay but now I'm the target of Nmom's Smear Campaign  :doh: :stars:
« Last Edit: April 06, 2018, 02:19:56 PM by Aingeal »