How early is too early?

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How early is too early?
« on: May 13, 2018, 10:40:25 AM »
In the first few weeks of each school term u/npd exH sends an email "suggesting" dates that we each have ds11 for the following set of holidays.

In other words, "These are the dates I am prepared to have ds and too bad if they don't suit you."  Actually,  I'm being unfair there. Very, very, VERY occasionally he agrees to a change that I request.

But he flatly refuses to have ds during the week that his school is still on holidays while the state schools are in session. Too bad that I have to work in those weeks so ds gets pushed from pillar to post to ensure he is looked after.

Anyway, we've settled into a routine of ex sending his plans and me agreeing at the start of each term.

A few days ago though he sent me an email requesting to organise the holidays after the next set. That is, he wants to plan for September/October.

I barely know what I'm doing tomorrow, let alone in 5 months. And who knows who's going to be available for babysitting so far ahead?

Is this too early, in your opinion?

It's a small problem,  I know, when compared with many other situations on these boards. But - any suggestions?




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Re: How early is too early?
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2018, 03:23:06 PM »
Im actually in the camp of the earlier the better. Better to have ample time to prepare than the alternative: none.



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Re: How early is too early?
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2018, 03:45:43 PM »
Seems early to me, but it could work to have it 'set in stone' so you can prepare now. Is there any way to divide planning so he's not calling all the shots? I can't remember but are you guys still actively in the court system because if you are you could try to negation a school holiday plan into it that would have to be followed. Might not be worth the battle though.
With my ex there isn't any inconvenient time for him to 'have' DD cuz he just ships her of to his parents anyways. Our current (New) arrangement applying year round is whoever has her is responsible for finding care. We have a rotating 2/2/5 schedule in place now, with the '5' part being the rotator.
Does your ex know it gets to you that he wants to plan so far ahead?
If Cinderella went back to pick up her shoe she never would've become a princess