Appropriating my faith onto herself

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SE7

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Appropriating my faith onto herself
« on: May 30, 2018, 02:20:12 AM »
I became a Christian some years ago, to the absolute horror of my atheist NPDf. Now my BPDm is trying to read the Bible, which is a good thing, EXCEPT for the fact that she is a PD, which means she will always repurpose any spirituality to fit her own needs & agenda. Never mind what God actually says.

I discussed a Bible study method with her months ago, and she liked it, which I thought was good, but now I think she may be using my faith as a means of hooking me into her. It's a strange position to be in, because I think the faith is good for her, but knowing what I know about PDs, it's never what it seems, and never in my favor.

I have decided that I will NOT do a Bible study with her again, because the very last thing I need is for her to pervert the faith that has gotten me through all the misery of my narcissistic abuse syndrome. I need my Bible and my God and my faith UNadulterated by a BPD who will just use it all for her own whims. Someone else will have to minister to her, it just can't be me.

I also noticed her repeatedly saying terminology like "Oh Lord!" or "Oh Jesus!" when she's not even a Christian .. I don't know if she's trying to copy me or what but it just feels weird. It's like one more part of me that she has to steal. I already survived a lifetime of this woman shoving her beliefs & opinions down my throat. This is just something I feel the need to declare right here that I cannot and will not allow this woman to ruin my faith for me.

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Sojourner17

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Re: Appropriating my faith onto herself
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2018, 08:11:08 PM »
SE7,  good for you and good on you for recognizing that doing a Bible study with your mom would not be a good thing for you to do.

 I grew up in a pseudo Christian home...ie we went to church on Sunday and bible study weekly, i went to youth group and was baptized (by my choice) when i was 11 but it was when i finally made my faith my own and started making choices about how i would live out my faith that made it apparent that my mom and I could no longer share or talk together about matters of faith.  As long as I agreed with her it was good, but as soon as I didnt, it went downhill.  I have a very strong faith in the Lord and believe that Jesus is my savior so it wasnt a falling away that caused the rift...it was me getting closer to the Lord and studying and reading the WHOLE bible, not just snippets here or there based on denominational creed that became the problem.  It makes it difficult but I cling to the Lord and I know that as long as I follow Him He will go before me and lead me where I need to go.

I too, no longer discuss matters of faith with my mom.  She will try to bait me into discussing topics where we disagree but i try my best to change the subject.  Luckily because i dont physically see her much anymore ( i live 10 hours away) this has become less of an issue as I can usually deflect away during phone calls.

I pray that you will continue in the strength of the Lord and that you can continue to abide in His truth. 
"Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it..." - Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

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1footouttadefog

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Re: Appropriating my faith onto herself
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2018, 11:15:53 PM »
I would encourage your mother's interest in the Bible and Christianity while maintaining healthy boundaries.  Perhaps even buy her a Christian book occasionally or share links to ministry websites and videos you enjoyed.

It's possible to be positive without being enmeshed.