Boss- PD?

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bgirl12

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Boss- PD?
« on: September 05, 2018, 03:08:53 AM »
Has anyone ever had work help them when they tried to communicate with a PD boss? Let's say PD aside, and kept it about work and tasks and roles- any luck?  I have a boss that suffers with anxiety that seems to surface when they have to explain how to do a task to me or train me. Misses a lot of work, does everything, and then complains about how busy they are. This person has a lot of issues outside of anxiety but apparently that is a major part of their disability. I do not know to what extent. I find it interesting that people with "Crippling" anxiety would be in positions that require them to make decisions if anxiety makes people inconsistent and chaotic. I think it's more PD than anxiety and anxiety is an excuse or the easiest thing to explain it all away. I'm trying to keep it about my job, focused on the tasks at hand and picking my battles. I reached out to people who can help me speak to this person and let them know I care about them and our roles together. I need help to get some parameters for my work environment so I don't end up with anxiety too. I have never argued, never questioned, never pushed back. I do what I am told and when I need help, I ask. I am told I am doing a good job when I invite feedback but I wonder if they are pleased with me if they feel the need to do my job and theirs.

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bloomie

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Re: Boss- PD?
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2018, 12:42:11 PM »
bgirl12 - it is hard to know what is motivating your boss... PD? C-Ptsd? Substance abuse issues? Abusive relationship? Money problems? All of the above?

What I do know is that when our supervisor consistently complete's tasks assigned to us it is invalidating and undermining to the value that we bring to the work environment. Intentional or not, your boss is crossing a boundary and it is perplexing and not working for you or for them.

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I'm trying to keep it about my job, focused on the tasks at hand and picking my battles. I reached out to people who can help me speak to this person and let them know I care about them and our roles together. I need help to get some parameters for my work environment so I don't end up with anxiety too. I have never argued, never questioned, never pushed back. I do what I am told and when I need help, I ask.

Your focus is appropriate and filtering what to address and not to address is wise! I am unclear if you have spoken directly to your boss about the crossing over into your lane and clarified why the boss may be doing this? There may be some reasoning you haven't considered that is playing out for your boss and having a conversation that is reassuring for both of you - you stand ready, willing, and able to do your entire job and relieve your boss of any need to deal with these tasks - kind of talk.

I realize with some bosses having this sort of direct talk is ill advised. If so, what are some indicators you can set that are independent of your boss that are ways to measure your productivity?

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bgirl12

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Re: Boss- PD?
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2018, 12:52:53 AM »
Thank you for your insight and understanding, Bloomie.

I do not think my boss is someone I can criticize easily to their face due to their "anxiety" disability/disorder among other issues and they are the only one who knows my job.  I think if they have an issue with me, it would make my life hell. They are not transparent and any rift between us would leave me more in the dark, I fear. I hear more about their anxiety and what is upsetting them in life and work when they speak than I do about anything that would help me on the job.

This person doesn't communicate and does what looks like is whatever they want at the last minute with every task and every department. They may be organized in their mind, but not in reality or by my standards. They may think it would be so much easier to do it themselves and many may agree save me, the new person who thrives on responsibility and was once excited about the job. I think they are under the radar with the bad boundaries if no one else is having an issue. They look as though they are doing everyone else a favor and are everyone's right hand person. (Everyone's but the other person in their own department. ) Who else should they set up for success if not the person they hired? I would love to hear their logic but I don't think even they know. They asked me to be transparent with a new supervisor so they could learn their role more easily. I almost fell off my chair.

It's a weird lack of boundary and it doesn't permeate the company nor the department. It seems to affect the people that work for/with this person, unless you are in the friend zone which I am not. I feel I am of no value to this person except so that they can leave work early and go home to their family, and finish their degree.

Last week they were very nice to me and left me to my own project because it was due that day and they were leaving and it wasn't done and it needed several hours of attention. That was the only time they ever let me work without taking it from me. They never take out the trash or recycling but are very clear to tell me when they think it should be changed. That they won't do for me. So I have one task to myself to enjoy.  :)

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bloomie

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Re: Boss- PD?
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2018, 12:33:23 PM »
bgirl12 - what a disappointment that you are there ready, willing, able, and excited to do your job independently and you have a boss that it sounds like is chaotic at best and has an agenda that is indecipherable. There is something marginalizing in the behaviors you describe and condescending, but if this boss is this way across the board it may be someone who is very chaotic and disorganized in general and has learned to cope this way and has no idea or interest how it impacts others.

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Orthocone

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Re: Boss- PD?
« Reply #4 on: October 03, 2018, 04:07:54 PM »
To answer your question, yes that happened twice, the first time at a job I loved, in a sort of half-assed way; the manager who had been overtly bullying me for months got to keep his position while I was offered a daytime position after trying to quit.  The second time at another job, the bully was demoted to the same former position as me while they tried to talk me into going back.

Now I'm in a situation where another possible PD manager's "tactics" are really starting to blow up in his face and I had to get involved when this guy, who is around my age, started needlessly picking on a new young woman manager and I've witnessed his treatment of her since she started. 

Since she's accusing him of purposely not paying her while keeping her late, among many other things (but this is the only one that I know for sure is illegal since she's not salaried) I had to get it out there that if I hear another word about this, I'm going to report it to corporate.  Another manager who I'm good with is going to bring these issues up at their next manager meeting; in the meantime, now that the victim has gained some strength, instead of dealing with him in a matter-of-fact adult way, she's mouthing off to him excessively which just fuels it and this is what I get to listen to on my way out the door in the mornings.  But I mean she's already tried to communicate with him in other ways, so IDK...it's just not the healthiest time for me right now...