Cost??

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11JB68

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Re: Cost??
« Reply #20 on: September 26, 2018, 05:42:21 PM »
Met with an atty today for a consult. It went okay and I got some addl/helpful info out of it. However, it was CLEAR to me that she has no familiarity with pwPDs.
As with many people who offer well-intentioned advice I felt like saying 'well, you don't know my h'. Other folks just cannot imagine that what might work with a 'non' may NOT work (and may blow up) with a pwPD. Very interesting. Now I need to go back to the first atty I consulted with and see if SHE has any knowledge/experience with PDs.

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dck133

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Re: Cost??
« Reply #21 on: September 26, 2018, 05:56:32 PM »
Do you have any friends who have been through bad divorces? or they know people who have? If so ask them for a lawyer recommendation.

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bruceli

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Re: Cost??
« Reply #22 on: September 26, 2018, 07:52:01 PM »
The initial cost 10 years ago was around $50,000. Ten years hence forth, with more bad decisions made by PDexw, at this time, slightly over 200k. The gift that keeps on giving.
One will never fulfill their destiny or truly be free, until they can let go of the illusion of control.

Fair doesn't mean equal and best doesn’t mean good.

They could see me walk on water, and they would say it is because I can not swim.

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dck133

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Re: Cost??
« Reply #23 on: September 27, 2018, 04:30:48 PM »
The initial cost 10 years ago was around $50,000. Ten years hence forth, with more bad decisions made by PDexw, at this time, slightly over 200k. The gift that keeps on giving.

10 years??? why? is it to punish you for leaving? You would think after that long she would want to be done with it too. and most of the issues would have naturally resolved themselves.

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Liftedfog

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Re: Cost??
« Reply #24 on: September 27, 2018, 10:44:48 PM »
The wheels of justice turn slowly.  Every paper you file other side has 30 days to respond. Mine would respond right on last day. Then my turn. And back and forth we went.  He would change lawyers as soon as he realized my expdh would not get what he wanted.  Then back to square one. Months turned into years.  Pds are unstable.  You can't negotiate with a terrorist.  They will agree in one breathe then change their minds.  And back to square one.  That has been my life the last five years.  It would have been Iver last year but he is making a claim I pay him spousal.  I'm not about to start writing him cheques with money I don't have so I'm forced to fight it.  More legal fees, more of my life wasted.....and the saga continues with no end in sight and my lawyer getting rich.   It's so disgusting. 

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bruceli

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Re: Cost??
« Reply #25 on: October 01, 2018, 05:52:32 PM »
The initial cost 10 years ago was around $50,000. Ten years hence forth, with more bad decisions made by PDexw, at this time, slightly over 200k. The gift that keeps on giving.

10 years??? why? is it to punish you for leaving? You would think after that long she would want to be done with it too. and most of the issues would have naturally resolved themselves.

No, it's due to bad decisions that she makes because she doesn't go by logic or facts, but rather how she feels. She fought tooth and nail for the house, this alone made up 50% of the initial 50k. Lost it 5 years later, at a tremendous loss mind you, because she would not maintain it. Insists on private university for our sons, when they could go to state uni for free due to scholarships, because it it makes her look good.
One will never fulfill their destiny or truly be free, until they can let go of the illusion of control.

Fair doesn't mean equal and best doesn’t mean good.

They could see me walk on water, and they would say it is because I can not swim.

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11JB68

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Re: Cost??
« Reply #26 on: October 01, 2018, 10:52:53 PM »
So Bruceli, sorry can you clarify? The 200,000....is that court and attorney fees, or are you including in that figure support, buying out house, etc?

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WarriorNow

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Re: Cost??
« Reply #27 on: October 17, 2018, 12:19:06 AM »
I paid $7500 to get my protection order (I got the maximum time frame in my state and full legal and physical custody of my daughter).  There were a few continuances so that increased the cost.
I paid $500 for a will / medical power of attorney / temporary guardianship paperwork for my daughter until the court can decide the permanent guardianship (hopefully not her father who would be the default without my ducks in a row despite the protective order and conditions of his parole).
I paid $1500 to get a court order granting me the ability to negotiate a deal and execute all paperwork regarding the sale of our joint property.  Any profit must go into escrow to settle in the divorce.
I've paid about $500 in filing fees and to serve him with paperwork while incarcerated.

That's as far as I've gotten.... and I still have to wait 4 more months until my year is up and I can push forward with the contested divorce and I'm almost at $10k.  Depending on what he pulls, this could get very expensive.  The good news is that he already spent all of the rest of my money and savings.  He also has no job and has not paid child support.  If he can find funds, I can see it getting very very expensive.