Stress symptoms in kids

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2nice

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Stress symptoms in kids
« on: September 21, 2018, 06:46:22 PM »
After leaving hostile and then violent ex I had an opportunity to put my son into a school special group for kids dealing with emotions. Such a godsend.

It's amazing looking back. My poor kid as a 6/7 year old had started having 'accidents' in his pants. I thought it was a medical issue. Or food intolerance. It was actually the stress of being in the situation for him. I am so happy to say that behaviour and the 'stomach aches' have stopped.

The counsellor was great. She identified he is a worrier more than an angry boy. I was worried he was turning into his dad. So the more we work on giving him security and addressing worriers the calmer he is.

Identifying the feelings and reinforcing he is ok is a big part of it.

I hope this may help one of you guys.

Kids show things in different ways to us.

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Latchkey

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Re: Stress symptoms in kids
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2018, 11:08:01 PM »
Thanks for this !

It's a good reminder that for children who have been traumatized there is no one solid way of expecting it to show up.... sometimes years later. It is so good you have done these interventions.

Even now, I do not like for my DS7 to spend too much time at his PD Dad's house.  He only spends one night a week there now. The past couple years when he has been there for multiple days due to me needing to travel he has acted strangely and out of character for a few days when returning. It's nothing on the order of trauma that his older sibling endured (we were a blended family) from their PD parents but I've recognized that the time has a direct affect on his behavior esp in school. There is acting up and he's usually a really good kid and barely gets disciplined. Last year he took scissors to his pants and cut them then tried to say he fell on the playground ??? The year before he saw his  older brother having a violent outburst and he stood up in the classroom in kindergarten and did not listen to the teacher and laughed at her and got a "red card". All very out of character. At any rate, I could see a direct correlation between this acting up and anxiety over goings on at PD Dad's house and extended time there which was a huge stressor for him.
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athene1399

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Re: Stress symptoms in kids
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2018, 01:39:16 PM »
SD17 is incredibly anxious and it gets worse when she is with BM (who has 50% visitation). We try to validate her feelings, while giving her coping mechanisms. I don't want to brush off and invalidate her anxiety, but I want to help her through it. I don't know if it helps her at all. She's also more argumentative after being with BM. We just share our view on what she's talking about and try to tell her how the real world works, and when she tries to argue,  we listen to her opinion and then drop it. That could just be a teen thing though. I remember I used to think I knew everything at that age.

I just wish I knew how to help her better with the anxiety. It feels like her mom feeds it when SD is there so that SD is more dependent on her. We try to settle her down, say we understand why she is anxious, then try to help her cope with the anxiety. I really don't know what else to do. It just so frustrating how BM gets SD so afraid of everything.

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findjoy81

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Re: Stress symptoms in kids
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2018, 06:20:06 PM »
For my son it was stuttering.  During our divorce, it just suddenly sprang up and became worse and worse.  Saw a counselor and a speech therapist.

More recently we had parent-teacher conferences.  his dad showed up unannounced to the conference I had scheduled... son broke down in tears during the conference and refused to speak.  I think the poor kid could sense the tension.