Paranormal behavior of N mother - could it be that Ns are possessed by a demon?

Started by SeaSalt, October 12, 2018, 12:30:49 PM

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SeaSalt

I had been 2 years NC than 2 years very low contact and now my N mother came to visit us in our town for a weekend. I understood so much more about her and her narc behavior. I was cool about every provocation of her, I did not show her any emotion at all, i kept doing small talk until she wanted to talk about her husband and my NC with him. That guy sexually molested me as a child and I suspected that she knew it all the time. Finally she asked why I am NC and I said that I will opened up when she opens up with me. She than with great arrogance said: what did he do? sexually molested you? I answered: ah so you are not surprised.  she just kept saying: Who told you that, who told you that? Which made me thinking that more people know about it. Than she said: I will always be on his side.
She was so cold, uninterested, arrogant, hateful.  I saw pure evil in her eyes, in her face.
During the weekend we went three times our and each time people around us had accidents, just next to us. First was in the tram a man fainted just one meter from us, he looked dead, i got so scared, my dh and me and everybody except my N mother went to help him. She could not have cared less. she even critisized me for being so emotional. jesus i thought the guy was dead. everywhere we went somebody was feeling bad, a guy had a moto accident one meter from us, a lady fell down etc. It had never happened before to us. I thought we had some bad energy carring around.
I was thinking a lot about the fact that all the narcissist behave the same, use the same sentences and how strange that is. Also the fact that they have some kind of super power where they can " read our mind" and know exactelly what our weak points are. I came to the idea that perhaps they are driven by some kind of higher evil force, something like demons. I investigated this idea a bit and it seems that I am not the first one to think that. A lot of people around the world are convinced that Narcissists are possesed by demon. My mother certanly look so. She always mentions black magic and accuses others of cursing her etc. could it be that N people are possessed by demon? what are your thoughts about this?

After this last visit i am more than ever convinced that I dont want to see her ever again. There is nothing absoultely nothing positive in meeting her. I had never met anybody that evil in my life. i want to protect myself and my family from all that. I am ready finally to loose all the extended family over it and to never go back to my hometown.

If this topic is too far, feel free to remove it.

Thru the Rain

A very interesting and provocative question!

As a Christian, I absolutely believe that demons (and angels) are real and can "interact" with humans at least on some level.

I know that when my uPDM is at her worst behavior, her whole face seems to change. And at those times she says and does things that she doesn't even recall later (a very common problem reported by many people on these boards). So possibly there is some outside force at work.

On the other hand, we're all operating with human brains, and what we consider "mental illness" or "personality disorders" each fall into similar patterns. In fact, those common patterns are what allow professionals to make diagnoses in the first place. So one person with say an N personality, would probably share some characteristics with another person with an N personality. No outside demonic force required.

I do think we don't / can't know what's really going on in another person's head. And whether or not its a demon, or a dysfunctional human brain, we can't really know or control another person's behavior.

The only thing we can control is our willingness to interact with a disordered person - whether regular contact, low contact or no contact.

Edited to Add: The accidents and other incidents occurring around your M are seriously creepy!  Maybe a coincidence, maybe something else. Either way, I got goosebumps reading your post.

Amadahy

As a child I was fascinated by the original movie "Carrie." The mother was seriously like my Nmom, including the über-religiosity and the ability to inflict harm telepathically.   :aaauuugh:

I don't think I can speculate beyond what I saw. It's too creepy. I consciously and deliberately work on walking in the Light and in operating from Love. These are protective and healing.

Thanks for the chance to unpack a bit. Only on this life-saving board can we share such. :hug:
Ring the bells that still can ring;
Forget your perfect offering.
There's a crack in everything ~~
That's how the Light gets in!

~~ Leonard Cohen

xredshoesx

as this deals more with a faith based perspective on PDs we've moved it over to the religious board. 


LSK1999

I could tell you guys some creepy stories about my NM seeming to know things about me that she could have no way of knowing. I try to avoid this topic lately because it's pretty triggering for me and then I had some pretty disturbing experiences that made a connection for me that also led me to believe that there is something to this idea as well. I don't want to make too much out of it at this point as I have been scared of this woman enough in my life  :stars: The only way really to combat that anyway is through prayer. I pray for God to put boundaries around my heart and mind that protect me from her. I am hesitant to share my experiences on here for certain reasons but I will tell of one experience that happened a few months ago...you can tell me what you guys think of it.

After going LC with my NM in January I was suffering from some pretty horrendous C-PTSD flashbacks, nightmares, etc. I was struggling with my faith and believe I was dealing with some spiritual warfare. I had taken to really cutting everyone out with the exception of my fiance and my kids. I had begun to deeply work on trying to comfort myself and my poor inner child that had been through hell and back. I had began discussing with my fiance about how I never received comfort as a child, I spent an entire childhood afraid. I am having memories of being emotionally terrorized by my mother. She would tell me horribly scary things and then laugh at me or rage at me when I began to be scared of everything all the time. She never once offered me comfort, only fear and terror. I had discussed deeply with ONLY my fiance (whom detests my mother) about this lack of comfort in childhood. I may have briefly mentioned something about it too my daughter who is 26 and lives with my mother, but she does NOT according to her share an ounce of our interactions with my NM. She swore she never said a word to her about me in any way.....so about 2 days after these discussions she calls me out of the blue.......in the middle of a seemingly everyday innocuous conversation she out of the clear blue says "I'm worried about Bubba" this is the nickname I have for my grandson that is 2.

She then goes on to say that his father seems to ignore him when he is crying and frightened or scared. She then says to me "What kind of parent doesn't comfort their child when they are scared or hurt??????????" I stopped dead in my tracks. This woman first of all NEVER talks about the needs of anyone but herself.  This was gaslighting, but how did she know to gaslight something I NEVER said to her....now I am aware that my daughter could have said something to my NM about this....but she swears that her and my NM's conversations are never about anything deeper than what they ate that day and I believe her. My fiance does not speak to my NM and would NEVER tell her one thing like this. This really creeped me out beyond words. My daughter was as creeped out by this as I was as she knows I talk to no one about these things. So then a day later my daughter calls me all freaked out because her friend calls her and tells her she had a nightmare about my NM's house and that there was a demon in the house in which my daughter lives with my NM and her friend was concerned for my daughter's well being. Add to this that for years both of my daughters have tried to tell me there was something dark in my NM's house and I laughed it off even though both insisted and insisted that they had seen and heard really creepy things there.

I repeatedly tried to talk to my fiance about all of it and he laughs at me  :sadno: he is a man of faith but he seems to not want to believe in the existence of demons or angels...which is odd to me considering the bible says they exist. My daughters both fully believe and told me they think I'm crazy for not having ever believed before....so I don't know what to make of it all and I said way more than I intended to, but I had these experiences and I am of totally sound mind....not crazy...educated....and bible believing so. Thanks for bringing this up so I know that I am not alone in this...it means a lot to know that. I hope this leads to someone else sharing a similar experience, but if not I get it...lol...people think your nuts  :doh:

LSK1999

Oh and since I went all out I might as well add that my fiance's and I's jaws have dropped many many times at my NM's seemingly 6th or innate sense of knowing how to call me the minute I seem to finally let go and do something to enjoy myself...it's uncanny and has even left him the big skeptic stumped and in awe....

Associate of Daniel

This is a question I've often pondered myself.

As a christian I do believe in the existence of Satan and his demons. However, I struggle to believe that everything that is proported to be satanic really is.

I've had a couple of strange but very insignificant things happen on one occasion. They were more odd than scary.

But a year or so ago I do believe that on 2 occasions I witnessed satanic manifestations in my uNPD exH.

They were just his facial appearance.  His face seemed to turn black (he's white skinned) and he was staring at me with an expression of what I can only describe as "pure" evil.  There was no room in the look for light of any kind.

The only thing I can think of to compare it to is being alone in a room where all sound and light is obliterated and it feels like you can't breathe.

Each time I immediately looked away so the moments were brief.

But my response was absolutely God given:  my immediate thought was that I am safe in the blood of Christ. That knowledge repeated in my mind several times and I felt incredible peace as soon as I recognised what was going on.

Resist the devil and he will flee.

It makes me uncomfortable to talk of these things as I believe Satan to be very powerful. I shouldn't "meddle" in such things.

But it's comforting to know that Christ has already won the war against Satan and I am safe through the shedding of Jesus' blood for me.

I never want to experience anything like that again though!

AOD

Dinah-sore

I have experienced paranormal activity in my BPDm's house when I was growing up. When I go there now, it isn't like the "hair going up on the back of my neck" but more of a heavy oppression in the house. It feels like what it felt like growing up.

However one of my children is really sensitive to demonic things and they have actually SEEN things in my BPDm's house. Just a few weeks ago they saw a dark silhouette in one of the rooms. The last time my kids slept over there, this same child saw a "demon" that looked like a little boy standing next to the bed in my old room. My kid told me and I believe them because of stuff that I experienced when I lived there. So my kids will never spend the night or hang out there without me again.

It is kind of creepy, but I believe that my BPDm attracts this darkness because of her hatred for people. What is really weird though is that my BPDm calls herself a Christian, and she even serves in a ministry. I do not see the fruit of Christianity in her life though. So only God knows what is going on over there.
"I had to accept the fact that, look, this is who I am. I have to be who I am, and all of us have a right to be who we are. And whenever we submit our will, because our will is a gift, our will is given to us, whenever we submit our will to someone else's opinion a part of us dies." --Lauryn Hill

Orthocone

I have so much to say on this subject, thank you for posting this!  For years, IDK if I really believed in the paranormal.  I mean I loved movies and books about it and scary movies and such, but other than some strange dreams and sleep paralysis episodes, IDK if I thought I had them for the longest time.

I spent a lot of time with my grandparents growing up, who lived among what happens to be rumored to be one of the most haunted streets in my home state out in the open.  Most of my paranormal experiences in my life have been positive and have happened since leaving that state.  I was truly surprised when I found out by accident what people say about that street and the many stories/experiences I've read about it.  IDK what to make of all that but anyway.  One of my uncles is one of the worst people I know.  He's at least a malignant narcissist.  He flipped a big-rig on this street while driving drunk ages ago and survived on a street where so many people have lost their lives. 

My mother has done some truly terrible things over the years.  I remember when she'd hit me as a kid, she'd actually hit my good eye (I have a lazy eye).  This is terrifying for me to think about to this day.  Her face at times could resemble that of a monster or someone possessed, not even there.  Her anger at times was way out of proportion to things we kids did; other times she'd barely react.  I thought of these things, but never talked about them, because she'd either plain deny she did things or because I felt like we deserved to be treated in ways we were treated.  Sure, kids need discipline, but not chaos and lack of structure which was what we didn't get unless we were with our grandparents.

My mother's personality fits that of a Jezebel spirit.  A trail of destruction follows her everywhere and it's much worse with my stepdad.  I'm completely mystified that everybody who has ever had close contact with my mother throughout their lives, continues to die younger and younger.   One of my aunts, who has been at battle with my mother for years (they lived less than a mile apart), has recently passed away with almost no warning.

uMN-uncle's wife passed away a few years ago and was a severe alcoholic and apparently hid a cocaine addiction for years.  My grandparents are gone, most of the rest of our family was estranged but are still dying all around; except the PDs.  My two great-aunts, their kids and my mom are still alive (though all have had some kind of cancer).

As a kid and into adulthood, I felt that if I wanted something that my mother didn't want for me, it didn't happen.  Up until three years ago, I was so afraid that anything that I wanted that my mother didn't want for me would end in catastrophe or destruction.  Though I felt for years that I took a step backward in my life ending up in retail after a year and a half of unemployment after moving away and being talked into going back, I see now that it was a step forward in a way I didn't know.  This was a life I had to live for a time, no matter what she said. 

When my life first started going into a direction I was happier with three years ago, my mother made sure to let me know she didn't approve constantly and did what she could to make times of chaos worse.  In fact, being in touch with her, having her in my life for so many years is, I'm convinced, why I had such destruction in my own life.  To the point that before I moved away for good, I was convinced my home state was trying to kill me. 

My car was hit seven times in seven years (one more time right after I moved).  The year my mother was battling breast cancer, I had grudgingly decided not to move as she was getting to the age (and didn't take care of herself) where I figured I needed to be nearby.  In one year, I had an endless string of the worst encounters with random human beings than I'd ever had in my life.  I became afraid to even leave my apartment. 

The universe (or God), was telling me that it was time to go, I am sure of it now, but some areas on the internet attract the types who don't believe this type of thing is possible so I don't really talk about it much.  For as long as I could remember, there was always somebody randomly coming out of the woodwork to screw with my life.  Bully teachers, classmates, babysitters; grown up, it was bosses, coworkers, customers, neighbors, love interests, even a bullying landlord!  It just wouldn't stop, and my mother told me all my life that this was the way life was and it was my fault and I just had to live with it (interestingly it's been way less of that since cutting her off and every day I have to resist sending her an email snarkily telling her so and risk starting all over again :aaauuugh:).  My mother has some bad luck herself and complained for years about every little thing.  Don't even get me started about my stepdad.  That guy's health is so bad I have no idea how he's even still alive.     



           

SeaSalt

Thank you for sharing everybody. I had never before last weekend thought something like this. Actually although I believe in God and in my childhood and adolescence I spent a lot of time in Church, I never really considered evil and demons, like if they did not existed. Until I was forced to think about it with my N mother.
As you all state, it is very difficult to explain how N people can "read our minds" because they do. LSK1999 I totally understand what happened to you since it happened to me so many times. My mother so many times knew exactly what was in that moment on my mind even if it was something I did not share with anybody and did not write anywhere.  I tend now to believe that they get this information from an evil spirit.

Maybe this could explain also such a arrogance that they all have. My mother talks about herself as if she was God herself. She is truly convinced that she has some kind of superpowers and she says it often. She is a very covert N so she thinks before saying things, if something is too weard she wont say it but when its about how great she is, she does not hesitate a second to state it. What if she knows that she "sold her soul" to the devil and she knows she can get info that I can not know that she can get and when she talks about how powerful she is, what if this is the reason?

When I was a kid I was always in the church. it was my way to escape the crazy home that I had. I prayed a lot every day. I was the only one in my home doing all this. My N mother, possibly N step father, and wannabe N ,golden child, aggressive brother never went to church and were making fun of me being religious. Before every meal I wanted to thank for a food to God and make a cross on my face and they would lough a lot at me, so that i had to do the cross hidden from them. Now I think that being religious have saved me from the evil of my mother.

What bothers me the most is that I have very little memory of the first 13 years of my life. Its when most of the abuse happened. I feel deprived from the part of my life. I wonder how it is possible to not remember such a long period of time. I remember that I was never fully present when around my mother. I was dissociating but now when I think about it, when she was ragging and abusing me I was not even feeling like I existed, what if she was just taking somehow "over me" . I know how crazy this all sound. I am just trying to make sense of it all.

As crazy as it sound and I admit I had never thought that this story could go so far that I could consider my mother possessed by a demon but its the only thing that would explain everything. She always attracted accidents and bad things. Many many many. There is always a drama, movie like happenings around her. And the craziest thing is that she seems to enjoy it. Considering all this makes me stronger in my idea to stay away from her. I feel an obligation to protect my family and myself from her.   

I was reading these days comments under the youtube videos that talk about this topic and many people wrote to be convinced that their N person in possessed, some even state that they asked the N person and that the N confirmed the presence of a demon. Some people also said to not focus on it too much, you here as well, and I agree. I take this possible explanaition in a count and it reinforces my idea of keeping distance from N people but I dont want to obsess with this. I can not help her. I can help myself and my family, we can stay in light and hope and pray that God will save N as well and free them.

For the last 15 years I had stopped going to Church and praying daily, eve though I was always a believer. All of this made me pray again and made me realize the power of spirituality. At least something good came out of it.


bloomie

As an admin - I want to just remind those involved in this conversation of the guidelines around generalizations and that the leadership team is actively watching this thread:

Quoteplease avoid making blanket or derogatory generalizations about mental illness, personality disorders, personality disordered individuals or "Nons" that are unsupported by clinical literature.

Please share from the perspective of your personal experiences and opinions related to the PD person in your life rather than making broad generalizations about the spiritual state of an entire group of people such as..."they all...."

as a fellow traveler and survivor of a narcissistic family system -

We have over 100 traits listed in the PD trait section... these are traits that many people have in common - both those with a suspected PD and those without - to one degree or another. So not too surprising that there are many phrases and behaviors, patterns in disordered family/friend/work/religious systems in common amongst people.

Since this is the religious board I will say that my view is the only being that can "read" my mind is God and God alone. Here is a great article with Biblical references that supports that truth: https://www.oneplace.com/ministries/bible-answer-man/read/articles/does-satan-have-access-to-our-minds-by-hank-hanegraaff-8894.html

I would caution us to be very careful to not overestimate the power of a troubled, manipulative, exploitive person with a PD. I personally refuse to give ground to fear and grant anyone so mixed up they would treat myself and others as many of you have shared here you have been treated, any spiritual advantage over me when I have chosen to embrace God's grace, truth, love, kindness, and protection of my mind, body, spirit, heart and soul. :no:

Do I believe there is evil and good that motivates behavior? Absolutely. Do I believe that you and I can always discern without a doubt which force is at work and in whom or that a group of people who may have certain traits/behaviors/words in common are possessed and acting from a position of pure evil always? I don't. And for me, it is dangerous to go too far down that slippery slope because where do we stop?

Both my parents had strong N traits and I believe both were uNPD. When in rage or a vicious cycle their distorted faces were almost unrecognizable and their cruel cutting words and attacks ravaged me. Strong emotion distorts the human visage and mental illness and drug use and desperation clouded their judgment and blocked their ability to love and care for us, their children. Wounding from child hood abuse and neglect and overwhelming anxiety and fear drove many of their terrible choices. But never once did I wonder if they were possessed by an evil spirit.

Ime people can be really broken and not safe to be raised by or in close contact with and not be evil and people can be really broken and not safe to be raised by or in close contact with and be malevolent in nature.
The most powerful people are peaceful people.

The truth will set you free if you believe it.

LSK1999

Thanks for the post Bloomie, I think I was starting to get myself a little too freaked out about this. I read the article you linked and it was very helpful to me. You are 100% right that the last thing we need to do is give our abusers this sort of power in our lives. Another poster mentioned that online and especially on you tube there are many people that claim N's are possessed by demons. I gave this a lot of rational thought and have come to the conclusion that this is highly unlikely. While I think evil is real and it lives in the heart of many people, they are still just people. Nowhere in the bible does it lead us to believe that possession is an everyday matter...PD's are becoming more and more common and I think it's irrational to believe each PD is demon possessed. In some ways I think it's easier to think that than to accept the truth that we were duped and manipulated by another human being and that our weaknesses led us to this happening. Perhaps the most important thing for us to remember is there is no way we would ever know for certain anyway and going down that path is just a waste of time and takes the focus of what is important....our healing and our finding love and peace....so thanks for this it helped a lot.

Julian R

Thank you everyone for a helpful thread, both for the examples given of possible/likely supernatural or demonic influence and also the helpful discussion about how this relates to PDs.

I am a christian and believe in the reality of Satan and demons as yes ,they are in the Bible - but have not encountered the direct or extraordinary things that some have spoken of.  My interest in the thread comes through my wife uPDw who is also a believer but does tell stories of things that she probably quite rightly call supernatural / occult / demonic manifestations (footsteps) elsewhere in an empty house, dark and visible presences, predictions that have come true).  I have perhaps wrongly been a little like LSKs fiance and been somewhat sceptical at times but have to admit that there are a number of things in my wife's past that cannot really be explained other than by some kind of dark spiritual influence.  I think the danger has then been that she can over-spiritualize and see the devil's influence where perhaps he hasn't had any - who knows?!  Anyway I have found this thread helpful ...

I would similarly want to be cautious and not want to over-generalise.  It would be wrong and unfair to consider that all with a PD or NPD are demonically possessed.  It seems quite hard to say Biblically what demonic possession looks like - difficult to give symptoms or a diagnosis.

I sometimes wonder, and I am certainly no expert so others can comment and discuss - but I sometimes wonder if some PDs are a result of a disordering of a mind or personality that has been exposed to some of the terror of the supernatural/demonic - not then direct possession but an experience f trauma that produces disorder as a side effect - just as it might for exposure to other trauma.

My uPDw has been exposed to this kind of trauma and also quite severe trauma of very abusive parents who I am convinced have PDs far worse than hers.  Sometimes I wonder if my wife just got "fleas" from them or whether she has a PD at all - but perhaps she is just quieter than usual at present and I am beginning to forget some of the bad stuff that has gone on, and well there are little signs almost daily.

We all react differently to different kinds of trauma and what makes me fear my wife falls perhaps into PD territory is her lack of self awareness.  A lack of self awareness or accepting that some of her patterns of behaviour, reacting and relating are not particularly normal - and a lack of accepting that the trauma she has endured in the past has affected her and shaped her a lot more than she is ready to admit - in fact she won't admit to it and on the occasions she has had to go into counselling - because of workplace problems and the workplace obliged her - anyway she just would not see or accept that her past was shaping her present and relationships in a harmful way.  Anyway, I am beginning to digress ... thanks for the helpful discussion.

coyote

Just felt a need to toss in my 2 cents here. I am a Christian and actually an ordained minister. My take on the devil and demons is they only have as much power as we give them. I think that fear is a powerful but negative emotion. The more the fear increases the more power we give up. Just my 2 cents.
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
Wayne Dyer

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
Capt. Jack Sparrow

Choose not to be harmed and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed and you haven't been. -Marcus Aurelius

all4peace

I love what coyote and Bloomie have shared. I read a book recently called The Fear Cure and a quote from that stuck with me. It is approximately "Fear is a faith in evil more than a faith in good."

coyote

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
Wayne Dyer

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
Capt. Jack Sparrow

Choose not to be harmed and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed and you haven't been. -Marcus Aurelius

LSK1999

Quote from: all4peace on October 15, 2018, 01:33:17 PM
I love what coyote and Bloomie have shared. I read a book recently called The Fear Cure and a quote from that stuck with me. It is approximately "Fear is a faith in evil more than a faith in good."

I like this, and I think this is a challenge for us that have been surrounded by bad our entire lives...or even worse when we saw good around us but felt inexplicably always left out of it....it's just another horrendous way we were damaged...my NM literally hates good I think my attempts at finding peace and goodness in my life were met with abuse. We have to actively look for the good. It's hard to do that when your triggered all the time. My new self-cheering thing I do is watch funny video compilations of kids and pets doing cute and funny things :) I'm also coming to realize I have to get the bad out (anger and grief) in order to let the good in. God bless and thanks again for the post....I am going to have to check this book out.

Orthocone

I just wanted to add, my uMNuncle loves to preach about God despite not remembering the last time he was in a church.  This man lived nowhere close to God for as long as I can think of (and if half the stuff BPDmom says about him is true, then possibly never! :stars:).  My mother has also jumped on the religious bandwagon in later years, despite having a kid out of wedlock, sleeping around, breaking her vows to marriage (just being honest here), and abusing/neglecting her loved ones and not "being there" for her own mother.  She actually said that AIDS was invented because God was angry.   :aaauuugh: 

Back to the subject of MNuncle; back when he was playing the flying monkey when he found out I wanted to move away, he was telling me I need to talk to God about it.  To which I tried not to laugh and told him I already had and that He'd given me not one, but two, signs that my decision was the right one. 

I don't think Ns are possessed.  At the risk of sounding like I'm pushing my own beliefs, I'll just say that I think God made them the way they are as a lesson to all.  I think everybody is a teacher/lesson to somebody else, but anyway...that's my take on it.   

SeaSalt

Dear all, thank you very much for your replies. It was very useful for me to read your answers. I agree that I was wrong to generalize and I apologize for that.
I also found a great use of the article that Blommie posted and the comment that Coyote wrote about devil and demons only have as much power as we give them.
Its strange but since this last time I was my N mother and since the idea of the demon in her came to me, I do not fear her anymore. I am in the path of light, I do good and feel sorry when I do something wrong. I know I dont need to fear anything if what is going on is more spiritual than what I would have imagined.
I understood that my mother used to feed herself with my fear and frustration and I am no longer food for her. I guess I just needed to understand what is really going on with her, and nothing I read before had ever fully explained her behavior. Maybe I put the puzzle wrongly but since this realization I feel in peace and free completely to move on.


coyote

Glad to hear you are healing Seasalt. It is a journey and we are happy to share it with you. Thank you for sharing yours with us.
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
Wayne Dyer

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
Capt. Jack Sparrow

Choose not to be harmed and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed and you haven't been. -Marcus Aurelius