Removing adult child from the home

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Bloomie

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Re: Removing adult child from the home
« Reply #20 on: December 18, 2018, 07:54:19 PM »
What a beautiful update. Thanks for sharing it with us! :hug:
Bloomie 🌸

The reality is that you cannot have an emotionally mature reciprocal mutual adult relationship with someone who is not emotionally and psychologically an adult.

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Latchkey

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Re: Removing adult child from the home
« Reply #21 on: December 19, 2018, 12:18:36 AM »
This sounds so much easier for you all! Wow, It truly takes a village .... and thankfully you've got support in place for yourself and for him and he's using it. Take some deep breaths and enjoy the season.

 :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living.
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There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
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When we have the courage to do what we need to do, we unleash mighty forces that come to our aid.

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Adria

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Re: Removing adult child from the home
« Reply #22 on: December 19, 2018, 12:39:12 PM »
Momnthefog,

That is awesome!  I am so happy for you and your son. Man, what a difference a day can make! This is definitely an answer to prayer.  :hug:

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momnthefog

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Re: Removing adult child from the home
« Reply #23 on: March 13, 2019, 01:44:00 PM »
We are now 1.5 months away from 1 May.

In the past month son got a PT job at a grocery store through a contact at church.  He got a second job almost FT hours (completely on his own) at the public library.  I'm very proud of this accomplishment bc it was accomplished without a friend/family member stepping in.

Fri I'm having the "you are still moving out" conversation with him. 

baby steps.....baby steps.....



"She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible.  She walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings."

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hhaw

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Re: Removing adult child from the home
« Reply #24 on: March 13, 2019, 02:40:29 PM »
:whew::.

So glad to read your update, momnthefog: )
hhaw



What you are speaks so loudly in my ears.... I can't hear a word you're saying.

When someone tells you who they are... believe them.

"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger."
Nietchzsche

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Latchkey

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Re: Removing adult child from the home
« Reply #25 on: March 14, 2019, 12:13:25 AM »
Really great update. This sounds so much better than last year this time! So happy he is doing better and now has 2 jobs!!
Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living.
-Mother Jones
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There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
-Maya Angelou
-
When we have the courage to do what we need to do, we unleash mighty forces that come to our aid.

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Bloomie

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Re: Removing adult child from the home
« Reply #26 on: March 14, 2019, 12:53:00 PM »
Woo Hoo! Great steps forward!
Bloomie 🌸

The reality is that you cannot have an emotionally mature reciprocal mutual adult relationship with someone who is not emotionally and psychologically an adult.

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Mommacon

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Re: Removing adult child from the home
« Reply #27 on: May 01, 2019, 03:18:29 AM »
(I think Iím getting the hang of using this forum. )
Momnfog, such good news. How does your son respond to praise? Some bpds regress, some thrive. If he responds well, let him know how pleased you are with his jobs and that you knew he could do it! But also remember that the fear of abandonment may cause him to self sabotage so you wonít ďleaveĒ him. I donít know how you two normally interact, but assure him you wonít abandon him if he starts doing well. Does that make sense? My bpd daughter has made great strides because she now believes I will not reject her. Sheís actually thinking of moving in with a high school friend. Iím terrified but thankful she is being more confident. I still donít know how to view replies, if I have any 😂

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Bloomie

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Re: Removing adult child from the home
« Reply #28 on: May 01, 2019, 11:26:00 AM »
Momnthefog forgive the slight detour from your thread...

Mommacon - to view replies in threads you have either started or posted in like this one go to the upper right hand corner of your screen under your profile name and click "Updated Topics".  You can ask any questions you may have on Board Questions found here: https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?board=3.0 and FAQ where you will find additional help is here: https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=48572.0
Bloomie 🌸

The reality is that you cannot have an emotionally mature reciprocal mutual adult relationship with someone who is not emotionally and psychologically an adult.

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momnthefog

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Re: Removing adult child from the home
« Reply #29 on: Today at 08:53:55 AM »
It's a couple months out and I wanted to let everyone know that my son is still doing really well.

He's working both jobs.  Has an interview for an apprentice program.  Has paid 90% towards buying his car from me.   

He's in counseling which I am certain has helped. 

It's honestly like I have my kid back. 

I'm pretty sure taking away the internet access to his personal computer (which is still not restored and never will be) was a HUGE factor in driving him to reflect and make change.

One small step.

momnthefog
"She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible.  She walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings."

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hhaw

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Re: Removing adult child from the home
« Reply #30 on: Today at 11:52:20 AM »
Glad to hear that update, momnthefog!

My dd18's T said the same thing regarding removal of electronics,.   It makes space for reflection.

It's miserable to hold boundaries, but necessary.

I'm so happy for you: )

My dd18 is still lined up for graduation in June.  She's helpful in the kitchen, and seems pretty upbeat, in general.  Youngest is always exhausted, and her neurofeedback brain scan shows her brain is always revving on high..... which helped her understand the exhaustion.  She's looking forward to the 3 weeks of brain training to calm her brain.



hhaw



What you are speaks so loudly in my ears.... I can't hear a word you're saying.

When someone tells you who they are... believe them.

"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger."
Nietchzsche

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Bloomie

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Re: Removing adult child from the home
« Reply #31 on: Today at 12:30:16 PM »
Such progress momnthefog!

Happy for you, too HHaw!

Grateful for both of your families that you are seeing these changes and have been able to hold the line even when it is truly miserable to do so.
Bloomie 🌸

The reality is that you cannot have an emotionally mature reciprocal mutual adult relationship with someone who is not emotionally and psychologically an adult.