death stare

[eternallystuck]

any1 hate walking into an unfamiliar setting with pd parent cos u just *get the feeling* they've been dragging your name through the mud?

I always feel so awkward saying hi cos altho they've never met me I just immediately sense they have this opinion of me cos of my m, and it really irritates me since i'm no car crash daughter- never been in debt, had a drug addiction, been in jail- clean record. But its like they look at me that way, as if i've given her a tough time

Happened 2day at a bbq my NPD M invited me to. Felt v awkward & like there was no point in me trying to conversate much with this person as they'll already of had their minds poisoned by m. Why I attended I don't know,  I think she enjoys making me feel awkward and feel like I'm the perpetrator & parading me through these things

lesson learnt!

Why do we do these things??

[Spygirl]

That's pretty awful, so you are going thru it.


My M was a piece of wk too. I got off the carousel 20 yrs ago. The few times i have to see her, she is exceedingly polite. If she is not, i get up and walk out, as i had to start doing years ago.
No scene, not rudeness, and no accepted phone calls from her for the next several months. I got her mostly trained now.

Perhaps boundries for yourself? If you feel uncomfortable, what motivates you to stay?

No one can force us to be anywhere. If we choose not to be.

[TriedTooHard]

Do I know how this feels.

Why do we do it?  Probably because she isolated you, soured your opinion of any friends you made on your own, convinced you to be enmeshed with her, and drove away those friends.  And now here you are craving companionship every now and then and wanting to enjoy a bbq, as is perfectly acceptable.  There's also the hope that maybe she's going to be better this time....

Also, when we do break free and socialize with new people that she doesn't know, it feels awkward and unfamiliar. 

[StayWithMe]

Do I know how this feels.

Why do we do it?  Probably because she isolated you, soured your opinion of any friends you made on your own, convinced you to be enmeshed with her, and drove away those friends.  And now here you are craving companionship every now and then and wanting to enjoy a bbq, as is perfectly acceptable.  There's also the hope that maybe she's going to be better this time....

Also, when we do break free and socialize with new people that she doesn't know, it feels awkward and unfamiliar.

My mother exactly.  It took me a while to notice the pattern. Those girls and women that I did get along with my mother needed to ask vague questions about them.  those women and girls that I didn't get along with were always the ones that my mother wanted me to invite. 

[Daywalker]

The evil covert narcissistic 3th wife of my father always did this.
She really told EVERYONE the craziest stories. I don't know what and I don't care. But i noticed because of the looks/ reactions I got.

I often noticed people looking weird and surprised when meeting me / getting to know me. Like they couldn't believe i was nice, or funny or normal.

Imagine how sick that idiot is. I never ever done anything to her.

We only saw my father like 2 a month. But if course that was to much. She always was very jealous and always trying to ruin the mood, cause trouble, triangulation etc.

Since my father is a covert narc they managed to push away all their children. Hers too, haha. And are now bitter, angry, hating each other and feeling very disappointed in life and mainly ofcourse each other.

I'm SOOOO happy I left the snakepit that is my family years ago.
I've dealt with all this. Feel great in life etc.
So I don't often think about it, but writing this down makes me remember how happy I am to no longer have to deal with them !

My BPD sisters did it too btw.
Both been diagnosed and one was for more than a year living in a mental hospital,  yet she was telling my family: " Jo ( my little sister) " is a sweetheart. But Daywalker.. daywalker is just batshit crazy... "
Ofcourse all the flying monkeys, enablers. npds, bpds and codependents just said nothing or agreed.

🤣🤣 I'm the only one thats normal and happy ( because I fought for that ,)

It doesn't matter what you do/ say or are. People will make up what they want and there will always be others to help them.

I dont care about other peoples opinion at all.
( letting go , accepting etc )
Freedom