How do you know if they have a PD or fleas?

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Cascade

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How do you know if they have a PD or fleas?
« on: December 13, 2018, 04:55:40 PM »
I believe my husband has a PD, and now that our children are grown, I am seeing more of my husband's traits in them. How do you know if your children have a personality disorder or just fleas from being raised by a PD? If I had left my husband when my children were young, would they be less like him? Are there any statistics to show the odds of PD parents ending up with PD children? 

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Sophie48

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Re: How do you know if they have a PD or fleas?
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2019, 11:38:32 PM »
My therapist told me children are bound to pick up traits from a PD parent that raises them, and the only way to know for sure if itís a PD is an evaluation by a trained therapist. And even then, it can be difficult, and may be misdiagnosed. PDs can be passed on genetically according to various sources Iíve read over the years, but I donít know if thereís been enough studies and data for accurate statistics.

It may or may not have made a difference if youíd left your husband when your kids were young. But what if you had? Would the trauma of that be the cause of what you see now instead? And he most likely would have had visitation, too, which adds to the ďgrayĒ area of it all.

My DH worries that his divorce actually contributed to some of his daughterís issues. His exW has been officially diagnosed bipolar and ptsd. His daughter has struggled with alcoholism, lying, keeping a job, having relationships, etc.

Itís a catch 22.

None of us can predict the future. Be kind to yourself. :)

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momnthefog

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Re: How do you know if they have a PD or fleas?
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2019, 07:57:14 AM »
Cascade,

I believe it's a combination of genetics and environment.  In some cases (due to the nature of the child) environment is more important...and for another child genetics plays a larger role.  For each person, what "matters" more is different.  That's why kids raised in the same family have different perceptions and outcomes even though they are raised similarly.

momnthefog
"She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible.  She walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings."

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Cascade

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Re: How do you know if they have a PD or fleas?
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2019, 03:08:38 PM »
Thanks for your kind replies.