Intro

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alex1

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Intro
« on: December 23, 2018, 01:49:43 PM »
Hi everyone. I guess I will start with some background. Met a pathologically lying narcissist. He discarded me. I found out I was pregnant. I didn't tell him until he called one night out of the blue, crying and remorseful telling me he loved me. We talked a while then hung up. I called him back and told him I was pregnant. He had just professed his love, and I moved in with him. Also, I didn't know that he was a pathological liar at this point. It took a second discard (one week before our son was born), and many of his family members spilling the beans that a lot of what he told me was not true, he has a history of this type of behavior and lying. Countless details I am leaving out for brevity, but he has three children by three different women. He ghosted on me for a year and has paid zero child support. We had made an agreement that I would not go through the courts and he would just send money. Of course he didn't, so I went to the child support office, and of course they can't find him to serve him. Since the final discard, I've lost 30 lbs (which is not good), and now I'm here. I need some advice about whether or not I should pursue child support . I suppose I'll post more about that in a different post. Sorry if I just dumped an overload of information here.

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xredshoesx

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Re: Intro
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2018, 02:19:51 PM »
welcome to the forum,

we're here and we're listening.  i'm so sorry you find yourself here on the cusp of the holidays having to deal with this, to get what is needed for your son.  there are a lot of separated and divorced parents going through similar struggles posting on the separating and divorcing board- o
Separating and Divorcing


some of the posts in the co-parenting section deal with support issues as well, so that would be another great place to check out for support and information

Co-parenting and Secondary Relationships

in the end, i think you are doing the right thing by your son.  have you been able to be in contact with any of the other women he has children with?  that may be a foot in to get an address for you.

hope to see you more on the boards soon-


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alex1

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Re: Intro
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2018, 03:56:24 PM »
Thank you for the warm welcome. I tried contacting the first woman he had a child with, but she never responded. She is already getting child support from him, and I don't think she wants to end up having to "share." The second woman I found on facebook, and by the time I was ready to try and contact her, she's not on anymore. I don't personally have social media accounts, but my mom let me use hers. I'm just thinking about not pursuing it any further because I wouldn't want him around my son. He's irresponsible and participates in illegal/criminal activity off and on (sells weed sometimes), drives drunk, and god knows what else. I just feel like leaving him in the past is in the best interest of me and my son, regardless of whether or not we get any money out of him. I know he's not likely to ever have an epiphany and change for the better, so why does the money matter? My son has what he needs. He always blows his daughter off; do I want that kind of presence in my son's life? For a few hundred extra bucks a month?