Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop

[GeekGirlCarol]

Hello
Two months ago I left a very narc work department. And I adore my new department. Only the supervisor has started to bully me. I had some approved vacation time and my supervisor refused to honor the 5 days I was approved from my former boss. I spoke to my supervisor about the mistake and she refused to change it, I had no choice but I had to use sick time since my vacation plans were made 7 months prior and they are not refundable. I did Email my supervisor's boss and never got a response back nor did she ask to speak to me about my vacation when we crossed paths.
So, I Emailed my local union and he said my vacation should be honored no matter what.

And the night before my vacation my supervisor Emails me a demand for a meeting to talk about my behavior. And the date was made for one of my vacation day, and I already had an important task already scheduled that same day too. I told her I can not make it when my supervisor also handed me the paper about the meeting that night.

The issue about my behavior was only because I confronted my supervisor and asked for an Email on an office rule she has been singling me out for, and reprimanding me for. My supervisor would not let up and I had to do the broken record speak, and  the only way for the convo to end was for me to walk away. This took my supervisor off guard and she loudly said for all the employees to hear, I never had anyone walk away from me. And she went over and loudly told one of the other employees that I walked away from her.

The good news is the next day my supervisor sends out the employee Email I asked her to send to the department about the rule.

Turns out other employees were not aware of the rule either, go me ☺

My supervisor demanded proof of my where abouts when I could not make the meeting, and thankfully I got a note before hand in case my supervisor asked.

Since my full vacation was not honored I filed a complaint with the union, and Emailed my supervisor's boss.

My supervisor is on leave at the moment and I am waiting for the other shoe to drop once my supervisor returns.

My supervisor's boss nor the union has gotten in contact with me yet.

Thankfully the union has helped me in the past deal with a narc boss and narc supervisor. And one of the union reps did tell me to keep my eyes peeled, since my current supervisor is known to be mean.

[bloomie]

GeekGirlCarol - Hi I see you are new here. Welcome! I am so sorry you were put through the wringer over already approved vacation leave and a rule the majority of your peers seem unaware of. It seems wise to clarify and get support from your Union Rep as you did.

A great resource for conflict in the workplace and dealing with high conflict individual is the work of Bill Eddy found here:
free articles are here: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/free-articles/

And some strategies for resolving conflict with a high conflict person: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/free-articles/2018/3/2/the-cars-method-for-resolving-high-conflict-situations

[GeekGirlCarol]

Thank you, I also have great resources that help me understand and how to over come working in a toxic environment and narcissists, the youtube channels From Surviving To Thriving and Angie Atkinson's youtube channel, has given me the tools on how to deal with the situation and how to also heal mentally and physically from narc abuse.

I am also in contact with my union rep and also take time for a little Rand R when I am not at work. And also my faith in Jesus Christ, has also helped me on my road to healing and freedom.

[GeekGirlCarol]

I knew this was going to happen, my narc supervisor has been on vacation for over a month and came back sick, which meant she was gone of another two weeks.
Once My narc supervisor got better she got very upset with me. And I knew it was coming since I filed the report with the union. My narc supervisor said some silly things while she was speaking to me in an angry tone of voice.

Mainly she was upset because I know how to do my job and I know who to speak to if I have questions regarding my benefit time. My narc supervisor said she does not like my body language. Whatever that means?, I'm no hunchback of notre dame, I keep my head up, I smile, I am quiet, and I come in and do my job in a timely manner, too.

And my narc supervisor said I like to have things done my way,  The only reason my narc supervisor said this is because I always ask questions and ask for documentation for clarity, only when needed.

And my narc supervisor said that there has been gossip about me and my narc supervisor said she is believing the rumors about me, and these rumors stem from the other department I transferred from.

Since I did not react to her fussing over petty things and remained calm and told my narc supervisor its ok that she feels that way, to which she said thank you I do not need anything from you. And that she sees how I talk to her boss, and she asked if I speak to other people the way I speak to my narc supervisor, I said yes. To this she said that it would be best to only speak through Email, to which I said (in a clam voice) I am ok with Email communication.

My narc supervisor called me a liar, and that she treats her employees with respect and that she does not make a show when she is reprimanding any employee. Which is not true she made a show when she was telling me there is a staff rule, yet I see none of the staff who've been working in this department for years following this rule. And when I calmly asked for an email detailing the rule my narc supervisor got very upset when I asked for this information.

With me being a new employee I needed detailed information so that I as a new person to the department knows what is fully expected of me regarding this "staff" rule. The cool thing is she sent me the detailed information the very next day.

I am still working with the union to try and figure why my approved vacation time was not approved by going through my recorded time. And it looks like my ex narc boss and ex supervisor added some vacation time that I never requested to my time record without my knowledge.

What is strange is when my current narc supervisor was adding my last vacation request to the system and saw there was only one day left of my vacation time and not three. Which was written down and I sent current my narc supervisor the paper in August 2018, and my vacation was approved for the month of November 2018.  And my narc supervisor did see that I only had the one remaining vacation day when creating the November staff schedule. What is strange to me is why didn't  my narc supervisor pull me to the side and ask me did I know that I only had the one day of vacation left.

My narc supervisor did not take the time to do this at all but waited until I came to her myself asking questions about why my vacation time was not added to the November staff schedule.

[GeekGirlCarol]

And another thing my narc supervisor got upset when I wanted to request to use the rest of my 2019 vacation time.

My narc supervisor expected me to pre-plan all of my 2019 vacation time in October 2018. This was the requested time for all staff  that works for the company to at least get some of their scheduled vacation request approved.

And those other un-scheduled pre-existing vacation dates staff has the choice to carry over unused vacation. The thing is staff can only carry over three days. And any dates left over after that it is mandatory for staff to use the vacation time. To which the boss will go through the 2019 calender with that person and together randomly choose which dates to schedule the mandatory benefit time.

Which I have done in the past at every location I worked for. The only difference in this department is this narc supervisor does not want to work together with the employee.

I filled out the correct paper work and gave the dates to my narc boss. She said she would get back to me the next day and give me the a yes or no on my vacation request.

The next day my narc supervisor did not get back to me like she said she would, and it was nearly closing time. I went to her office knocked on her door and asked have my request been approved. My narc supervisor's answer was 'Its a toss up' and smiled.

Since my narc supervisor gave me a non-answer hoping I'd go away. Which I did not I leave, I instead said what does that mean? And my narc supervisor finally gave me a straight answer.

My narc supervisor said she has a meeting she needed to attend since there is staff from her department working in other departments, and my narc supervisor needs to know if the loaned out staff is going to be returning soon. And once my narc supervisor knows her loaned out staff is returning then she can notify me and let me if she can grant my vacation request.

I said ok and went back to work, three minutes later my narc supervisor approaches me as I am completing my tasks, and  said she could've said no to my vacation request. I gave her a blank stare and said nothing. My narc supervisor turned around and went back to her office. 

That was l last week when my narc supervisor had the meeting and I have not been notified at all. And the thing is one of my vacation request dates is approaching very soon.

What I am going to have to do is Email my narc supervisor two weeks before my requested vacation dates, and ask have these dates been approved. Since the loaned out staff has not returned to the department.

[GeekGirlCarol]

Before I Email my narc supervisor about my up coming vacation dates request for approval. I am going to speak to my union rep and let her know what is going on.

My union rep can also speak to my narc supervisor and ask her why has my vacation dates not been approved yet.

The super awesome thing about having a union rep is these fantastic people have the power to lean on my supervisor and make them follow through, on something they are holding back on so they can dangle the carrot at their employee. 

[bloomie]

GeekGirlCarol - you are wisely using a strategy we call gray rock or medium chill with this supervisor and bringing accountability to the situation with your Union Rep. I am thankful you have the composure to hold a calm, cool, professional demeanor in the midst of what seems like baiting.

[GeekGirlCarol]

Thank you!

I use to be so co-depent on others, shy, and had very low self esteem.

I  studied super hard on narcissistic abuse, simply by googling the things these haters were doing to me, saying about me, and how I was feeling. And I learned not to believe the hate others were trying to bully me with. 

Thanks to my absolute faith in Jesus as well. I have poise, confidence, and stand by my truth.

And it never really matters what others think or say about me. All it comes down to is what I think about myself.

And thanks to two super duper helpful youtube channels for their excellent advice on how to deal with narcissist abuse. Angie Atkinson and From Surviving To Thriving, youtube channels. Both these ladies advice does work in real life.

And no matter how scared I was having the courage to report the abuse helped a ton. And in the end I did expose the abusive ex-boss and  abusive ex- supervisor.

And  I won my case against my narc ex-boss and narc ex-supervisor for their abusive behavior, and I was recently give back my suspended pay checks too.👍🙆‍♀️

[GeekGirlCarol]

My current narc supervisor is now being fake nice to me to try and win me over.

There is a job I do every day at work that my narc supervisor out of the blue asked me if I needed help with the task. I said 'no I got it, thank you'. And she lurched away, what I mean by that is the way she walks is like she is like a zombie. Rounded posture and dragging her feet.

I know she wants to pounce on me so badly but I am still the queen of grey rocking her. And I can report her actions were I have people who will believe me.


Just yesterday she was at work when she should not have been. She was on a scheduled vacation leave, yet she was in the department doing work, and she chewed out one of the staff members for 10 minutes, maybe even longer, and she did this in public, while other staff members were walking in and out of the department.

I did not stay since it was the end of my shift. I did report her actions to the union and have to send an Email statement on the incident.

The union Stewart I spoke to said my narc supervisor should not have been any where in the department  nor giving orders, while on vacation leave. It ment she was not considered an employee, but a patron.