How did you cope with disinheritance?

[PinkFreud]

Dear KittyKat,

I have put off reading your post because I've been going through the same thing, except than I'm an only child. Although everyone here has been so supportive, my way of trying to deal with the horror is to try to ignore it and pretend that it's not real, which I know is not healthy. I apologize that it has taken me this long to reply, because I just knew when I saw the header on your post that you were in the same situation.

I have not seen my BPD mother in well over a year, even though she lives six miles from me. We always had a difficult relationship and she's always been "quirky", as my Dad's surviving brother has diplomatically said. My Dad always fantasized about a "wonderful mother & daughter relationship", and tried to force it.

tl;dr My beloved Dad died leaving me to deal with my mother. All appeared to go well until she met a woman, the daughter that she always wanted. In the meantime, my friend of 45 yrs, who collects old ladies POAs like other ppl collect stamps, convinced her that my husband and I were plotting to put her in a nursing home. We were NOT! She called me on  to tell me that she never wanted to see me again, or speak to me. WTF? I didn't find out until mid January about the alleged nursing home plot. I also got a letter then from a new attorney, telling me that she revoked our POAs and given it to my old "friend". The letter was dated, the day before she called me to dispose of me like last week's garbage. Like your situation, clearly the nefarious plan had been in the works for some time.

I am also assuming that I'm disinherited. I haven't come up with a way to handle that yet. All I want is my Dad's stuff from WWII and the flag that was on his casket. Meanwhile, have a big  No one should ever be put through this misery!

[hanna3b]

Thank you for posting this.  I'm struggling with something similar right now.  My grandparents had two kids, one golden child, one scapegoat (deserved in some ways).  I'm a child of the SG and live locally.  The GC left town as soon as she turned 18.  Their will leaves everything to the GC, completely writing out my family.  Lately they've been calling me 3-6x per day, complaining, asking me to run errands.  These people didn't care when I was a kid and still don't, but I am supposed to care about them now?