Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”

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Houstorm

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Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« on: January 03, 2019, 04:22:12 PM »
http://think.kera.org/2018/12/19/estrangement-as-salvation/

Hi there.  This is an excellent discussion with an author who published a memoir about growing up with a narcissistic mother, enabler father, and golden child sister.  I found it helpful as it’s a kind and empathetic discussion of this taboo subject, with helpful validating insights the author experienced on her journey.  I hope you enjoy it.  I wish you peace, good health and happiness in 2019.

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Psuedonym

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Re: Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2019, 02:24:59 PM »
Thank you, Houstorm! I'm going to check this out today. As someone who's recently gone NC, I need all the validation I can get. :)

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Serendipity12

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Re: Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2019, 06:02:48 AM »
Thank you so much. I listened to this today -really validating and ipnspirational. 😊 On the basis of the podcast I have just bought Harriet Brown’s book, ‘Shadow Daughter.’

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Yael924

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Re: Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2019, 01:58:35 PM »
Great podcast. It's worth the time to listen. :thumbup:

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openskyblue

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Re: Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2019, 04:00:36 PM »
Wow! Thanks so much for posting this! 

I'm not estranged from my parents, but my adult kids are estranged from their father, my NPD/sociopathic  exhusband. They are getting help in therapy with their decision, which I support, but I know they struggle with it -- and especially the comments of their friends and family that they should reconcile.  There's such a strong social norm that someone cannot be whole if  they are estranged from a parent. Even after years of abuse from their dad, I find myself wondering if my kids should have a relationship with him someday and if that would be better somehow for them. (I never voice this, however, because their relationship with their dad is up to them.) That's how strong the societal messaging is.

This podcast really helped me understand more about what my kids are going through -- and respecting their decision to go NC with their dad even more than I did already.
Even a blind man can tell you when he is standing in the sun.  (Percy Sledge)

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looloo

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Re: Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2019, 12:30:55 AM »
I was nodding my head the entire time as I listened!  SO validating.
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.”  Oscar Wilde.

"My actions are my true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand."  Thich Nhat Hanh

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Sojourner17

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Re: Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2019, 12:38:35 AM »
Thank you for posting this! The podcast was so good! Hoping to get the book!
"Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it..." - Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

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DustyMemories

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Re: Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« Reply #7 on: January 06, 2019, 10:05:56 AM »
Thanks for sharing. Nearly everything Harriet said described my relationship with my own mother, who I am now NC with. It was very validating to listen to.

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newlife33

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Re: Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« Reply #8 on: January 11, 2019, 04:17:03 PM »
Thank you, Houstorm! I'm going to check this out today. As someone who's recently gone NC, I need all the validation I can get. :)

Truth!

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Riggo199

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Re: Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« Reply #9 on: January 12, 2019, 02:12:35 AM »
Thank you very much for the podcast.  It helped me a lot! :)

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Lillith65

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Re: Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« Reply #10 on: January 12, 2019, 07:02:31 PM »
I’m going to listen to the podcast too. I’m struggling right now.

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Jade63

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Re: Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« Reply #11 on: January 25, 2019, 04:21:53 PM »
I identified with every word of this Podcast. Very validating! Thank you for sharing!

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JustKathy

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Re: Great podcast - “estrangement as salvation”
« Reply #12 on: January 25, 2019, 07:16:31 PM »
Hi Houstorm,

Thanks so much for sharing this. I related to SO much of what Harriet said and found it to be incredibly validating.

After listening to the podcast I went over to Amazon to buy the memoir. OMG, some of the reviews are downright brutal, saying she was whining, that the poor (enabling) father didn't deserve it, and so on. Most of those comments came from reviewers with a "Vine Voice" badge, meaning people who had been given the book for the sole purpose of reviewing it. It's a fair bet that all were unfamiliar with this type of family situation and certainly hadn't lived it. That, right there, is the reason we often feel invalidated. When you try to tell someone who doesn't get it, you won't be believed, or in this case, the toxic parent will be the one pitied.

I've written a lot about my own mother, but doubt I'll ever publish any of it, and that's why. It's doubtful reviewers realize the damage they're doing to other survivors, but .... just wow. It was hard for me to read some of them. A tip of my hat to Harriet for having a thick enough skin to deal with that. I hope one day I have the level of confidence that she does.