Starboard, I’m sorry for your (understandable) frustration and anger, anniversaries can be so triggering. The writing is a good way to get it outside from inside, so never a waste. You did not use it to harm anyone.
It is painful to have a heart’s desire for love, connection, harmony in unchosen relationships whereby others harm, hurt and damage and yet refuse to express accountability much less remorse. The injustice of it all can keep us spinning in circles, IME, it Manifests in monkey mind. Conversations I’d like to have - which are basically JADE - yet consciously I know would be futile.
The bottom line for me is accepting that it “takes two” to “want” or desire relationship, two to care, inclusive of making amends or changing “abusive” behaviors. Years ago, in business, something that resonated with me I read about conflict management was to seek first to understand, and then to be understood. It seems to me, IME, the PD’s are not interested in understanding others POV, perspective, experience of them. Permission, IMHO to drop the rope. Unsatisfying yes. But we are only one part of a greater equation.
Hope the rest of your day is uplifted, that you know you help others from the place of your pain.
Summer Sun