Why do they go quiet?

[MeFirst]

UPDx calls the children every night by facetime and has done so for the last 8 months without fail. Then the last 2 nights nothing.

Any ideas on why he went quiet?

We did have mediation last week and he's threatened court and going for 50% custody.  But he had been calling every night after  mediation but then suddenly  2 nights of nothing.

[athene1399]

Could be anything. My advice is to try not to worry about what he could be planning and enjoy the non-interrupted time with your kids. I've spent so much energy on "what is she plotting? what's going on with her now..." there's no way to be sure until or if something happens. I've learned to try to enjoy the quiet while it lasts. Conserve the energy for a time when it will be needed. Otherwise you will burn yourself out IME.

[Whiteheron]

My initial thought was "because he's up to something." but that's not very helpful.

Honestly, when my stbx is distracted by his gf, he doesn't contact the kids at all. Or if he does, it's a 30 second phone call/text where he tells them he's at this fantastic place with a "friend" and can't talk. The kids are more relaxed when he's "busy" and they know they don't have to call him. Take advantage of the peace while it lasts.

[MeFirst]

My thoughts to Whiteheron, I just don't know what!

I thought it might be a new gf too, possibly one without kids.

It feels a but creepy, the sudden change in behaviour. But I guess I will find out at some point what the reason is.

[Freedup]

Power

They know that if they stay silent, we probably won't.  And there's nothing we can do with "what they won't give us".  It's effed up.
And then they can say "I didn't say that".
I've just started calling them on it.  Oh....you're using the "say no words" tactic. 

[hhaw]

Just stay level, and continue documenting.

Don't assume anything, though it's difficult not to assume they're up to something. 

The silences are unnerving as hell, IME. 

Don't let it upset you into doing or saying something that can be documented. Stay calm around the kiddos, and make sure they're OK. That's the best you can do.

[Stepping lightly]

Just curious, I assume the silence has ended at this point?

[MeFirst]

Yes it has. Very odd.

[hhaw]

Something was going on.  WHatever it was, it took his attention off you and your child.

Document like crazy.  Any way you can.

[Magnolia34]

My DH's ubpdx made a HUGE deal about phone calls. Initially it was written into their parenting plan that the parent who had the kids was to call the other parent every evening. Never mind that the kids never asked to call either parent and I got the feeling that (both ways... mom and dad) they just wanted to be left alone to BE wherever they were. It seemed like the calls just made them squirrely but what do I know. DH was admittedly bad at holding up his end of the calls. We're busy, there are multiple kids, multiple jobs, after school activities, homework... he didn't always remember and ubpdx made a big stink of it at the last parent coordination meeting. DH has offered SEVERAL times that if he fails to have them call and she wants to talk to them, she is WELCOME to contact him (or the older kids who have their own phones). So the PC decided to switch up the plan so that if the parent without the kids wants to talk to them, THAT parent calls. So it puts the responsibility on the parent WITHOUT the kids to make the phone call instead of putting one more thing on the other parent to remember. This sent her into a rage and it was very clear that it wasn't the phone call that was important... it was being able to have control over DH in some way. Initially, she called every night for a while but now it's dwindled down to just a night or so a week.

All that to say... if he's gone quiet I'd say it's likely because he's bored of the games and doesn't feel like he's able to use phone calls to manipulate you anymore.