concern with il

[fkpp]

Has anyone ever had a bpd sil or bpd dil coach a child to claim innappropriate behavior when the child is visiting family members?  If so what is the best course of action?

[bloomie]

fkpp - With not much to go on here I am assuming you are meaning this from the caregiving role of grandparent? No need to answer specifically, but if so, I have not experienced this and am wondering if you might find some good insights and support over on the co-parenting board for a potential false claim of inappropriate behavior. I am really sorry this is potentially happening.

Some kinds of commonsense things to put in place to keep a safe space for one and all can be found in this helpful article: https://cultureofsafety.thesilverlining.com/childcare/protecting-yourself-from-allegations-of-child-abuse

[all4peace]

As Bloomie said, there's not much to go on, but what I would say as a generalization is that if I'm being accused of something I don't believe I'm doing, I'd personally aim for all possible transparency and credible witnesses to all my interactions. In my own life, it has been M and MIL who claim this, and so I'm never in a position of being left alone with them. It keeps it safe for everyone.

[fkpp]

Thank you, I'm sorry I can't be more specific, but we have taken steps to protect ourselves from further suggestions of inappropriateness.  Sad days.