Thoughts on Forgiveness

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Thoughts on Forgiveness
« on: September 22, 2019, 11:12:55 AM »
Iím reading ďThe Book of ForgivenessĒ by Bishop Desmond Tutu and he lays out a four part process for forgiveness. Tutu was one of the leaders of the reconciliation movement in South Africa after Apartheid.

1) telling the story
2) naming the hurts
3) forgiving
4) renew or release the relationship

hope it will help me learn about giving and receiving forgiveness.

Iíve been meditating on the Lordís Prayer (Matthew 6)

ďForgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against usĒ

- itís a collective prayer, so Iíve been praying this on behalf of my marriage not just myself. Iíve also been praying it collectively for forgiving each other as we have crossed lines with each other
- itís in present tense - i pray it over my current reality. Iím focusing on not being bound by the burden of past or future.
- itís in present tense - so that means that means Iím choosing to forgive those who are currently trespassing or even who WILL trespass
- itís a relationship between asking for and giving forgiveness. This prayer has a flow to it - as we receive - we give

How are you working through forgiveness ? Grace and peace to you today



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Re: Thoughts on Forgiveness
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2019, 06:46:46 PM »
Grace and peace to you HH,

This is a tough topic.  I would be lying to say I have forgiven everything that happened in my marriage to NPDh. 

During my marriage, I did not even want to forgive.  So I prayed that I would have a desire to forgive, that prayer is being answered.  I am in process right now and when I think of the terrible things I have endured I do not excuse them and neither does God. 

Forgiveness means giving up my right to repay/punish/retaliate against my abuser.  I have to leave this to God, it is not for me to do.  I do not believe that it is my place to withhold forgiveness because I have been forgiven so much.
 I like to meditate on Psalm 51, it keeps me grounded.

Forgiveness does not mean that I excuse what happened, or that I allow it to continue by failing to remove myself from an abusive person. 

I want to go on to love others freely, that will not happen if I am bound by bitterness and unforgiveness.  That would perpetuate the destruction that my abuser intended for my life, and I will not allow that to happen. 

I have not read the book you referenced by Desmond Tutu, but will check it out.