The dead space, again.

Started by Spygirl, February 04, 2019, 11:32:49 PM

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Spygirl

I sorta thought i was permanently past this feeling. Despair. I keep reminding myself that is is " a feeling" and to sit with it. And allow it to pass.

I have noticed today that i am becoming a bit depressed, and lonely again. Seems lately i just have my job, and pets to occupy my time.

I have been really good the last several months about not talking about my impending divorce with friends. I dont want to burn anyone out with it. I have been on the recieving end of that, i get it. I was busy all last year with charity wk after my job, so i didnt really have time to obsess about my situation, except for here on this forum.
It hass occurred to me that maybe i was staying busy to avoid some suffering, thats been welling up alot the last 2 months. Another round of despair. I have some good crys, instead of stuffing emotion- what i have done my whole life it seems. I think its a healthy thing. I always had to be the brave, strong one. No more of that.

How long did it.take you all to.start to feel "normal" or at least "whole" again?

I feel like i have this critical fracture through me, that the wrong tap is going to cause me to shatter sometimes.

notrightinthehead

I am 10 months out. Still don't feel normal. Maybe there will be a new normal for me in time.  Could it be that you have reached the acceptance phase of the grieving process? Cry for the relationship you never had? Feel really, really sorry for yourself?  You still have to deal with your partner a lot, that can't be easy and could set you back in your grieving process.
I can't hate my way into loving myself.

1footouttadefog

It's hard for a burn to heal when your hand is still in the fire.  You are not out of the fire yet.

Stay strong, and practice holistic self care, even of you don't feel like it.

I hope you feel more positive soon.