I think she's gone NC on me!

[Associate of Daniel]

I've not had any communication from my ds's nsmum for ages. It's been so lovely.

We see each other once or twice a week at changeovers and ds's sport but we don't talk to each other.

Yesterday she took ds to collect his glasses and paid the bill. Usually she'd then send the receipt to me herself.  Instead she emailed it to my u/npd exH (her H  he's currently interstate) and he then forwarded it to me instead.

Does this mean she's decided to go NC?

Ooo. I hope so!

AOD

AOD

[Whiteheron]

Fingers crossed! Enjoy the peace while it lasts.

[mamato3]

I've not had any communication from my ds's nsmum for ages. It's been so lovely.

We see each other once or twice a week at changeovers and ds's sport but we don't talk to each other.

Yesterday she took ds to collect his glasses and paid the bill. Usually she'd then send the receipt to me herself.  Instead she emailed it to my u/npd exH (her H  he's currently interstate) and he then forwarded it to me instead.

Does this mean she's decided to go NC?

Ooo. I hope so!

AOD

AOD

Could she be pregnant? I'd enjoy the break! Also, what % of the glasses do you have to pay?   

[Associate of Daniel]

I am loving the break.

I doubt that she'd be pregnant and for the sake of the unborn child, I hope she isn't. (That doesn't make sense but I think you'll know what I mean!)

It was another drama with the glasses. Of course.

I was going to write the story but to be brutally honest I've had a gutful of the situation lately and I just can't be bothered. We are heading to mediation soon and health care costs may or may not come up.

Suffice to say that I paid for the glasses what I would have paid if u/npd exH wasn't contributing and that ended up being more than half of the total amount.

I fully expect that ex has claimed the total amount on his health insurance and only had to pay the gap.

AOD

[Associate of Daniel]

So, I'm now fairly sure she hasn't gone nc with me.

I suspect she's writing almost all of the emails that I receive from uNPD exH.

He occasionally sends some raging one that is obviously him, and he ccs it to her. But pretty much all the others don't include a cc to her and are not his tone or sintax.

Also, ds told me about a particular email that she wrote on her device. When I received it, it came from uNPD exH's address, with no cc.

I'd love to let them know that I know their game. But it's not safe for me to have contact with her. (Or him)

Ironic and frustrating.

AOD

[athene1399]

At least you figured it out that she is the one sending the emails. And you had a bit of radio silence to enjoy.  I hope mediation goes well! I'm sorry you get screwed all the time on the medical stuff. We do too so I completely understand how frustrating that is.

[Associate of Daniel]

Ah. Mediation. Joy. NOT.

I wrote the outcome in another thread. (He stormed out. Session forfeited. File closed.)

Medical didn't come up.

I've decided to practise Radical Acceptance regarding uNPD exH paying his fair share.  He won't, so why waste time, energy and headspace on a battle I'm not going to "win"?

So, I'm pretending I'm a widow and just paying for everything myself. So far, thanks to God, the money has been there.

I will say that uNPD exH (read: uNPD smum) does occasionally take ds to an appointment on his time and pays for it. But "occasionally" is the operative word in that sentence.

I dread it if ds needs hospital attention or orthodontic work, but it will work out one way or the other.

AOD

[hhaw]

AOD:

I think the sm is cagier and craftier than your ex.  I think she wants to cut down on the PD's explosive e mails, and that's why she's taken over.

I also think she's doing so bc of the mediation.  She wants her husband to appear more stable, and rational than he IS. 

For me, this is concerning.  This means you can't show how unstable he is with economy of motion.

I'd respond to her e mails, from ex, and refer to her current conduct as very welcome, and easier on D, bc the prior animosity and adult conflict had a negative affect on D.  Word it any way you feel is best, but document the change, and express gratitude and hope things can continue this way, for D's sake. 

I doubt sm will be able to resist commenting on the backhanded criticism, no matter how much it appears as praise.  It's likely the PD will have an outburst as well.  If not, you documented the prior struggle, and expressed willingness to continue being calm, and work towards the best possible situation during exchanges, etc.