Article about children supporting estranged parents in old age

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StayWithMe

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Re: Article about children supporting estranged parents in old age
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2019, 10:45:04 AM »
As long as parents are, by law, no longer financially responsible for their children after the age of 18, I don't see how any government entity has the moral authority to threaten punishment to anyone for not supporting their parent.

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JustKathy

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Re: Article about children supporting estranged parents in old age
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2019, 01:09:09 PM »
Wow! Even though it says some US states have this law, I can't see it ever being enforced. How can a child be held legally responsible for parental care? As StayWithMe said, once we turn 18, they are no longer responsible for us and that should work both ways.

Thank goodness I don't have to worry about this as my GC sister is caring for my father in exchange for being his sole heir. Plus I recently learned that I can sue my father under California law for financial abuse since he coerced me into working for the family business but never paid me. He also stole money from me that I earned as a child, so if anything, I have more of a case than he ever would. Not that I'd ever sue him, but I guess that's somewhat of an insurance policy.

Still, I'd like to know which U.S states have this law. The article says "many US states." It's indeed pretty shocking.

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StayWithMe

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Re: Article about children supporting estranged parents in old age
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2019, 01:13:26 PM »
There's another thread around here that discusses it.  In particular, Pennsylvania.

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JustKathy

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Re: Article about children supporting estranged parents in old age
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2019, 01:13:29 PM »
Ah ha! Found it, and it's a pretty long list. Per Wikipedia:

States with filial responsibility laws
Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada (Nevada law only addresses support of children and not support of parents. NRS Chapter 125B), New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, West Virginia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_responsibility_laws

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Fiasco

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Re: Article about children supporting estranged parents in old age
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2019, 05:06:00 PM »
Any idea what happens if your pd person lives in a state with filial responsibility, but you (blessedly) donít?

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Pepin

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Re: Article about children supporting estranged parents in old age
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2019, 08:16:26 PM »
As long as parents are, by law, no longer financially responsible for their children after the age of 18, I don't see how any government entity has the moral authority to threaten punishment to anyone for not supporting their parent.

I agree.  And what is even more messed up is if the parents are $$$$$ and then piss it all away.  Whose fault is that?  Theirs and theirs alone.  No adult child should be financially burdened because of their parents.  Filial responsibility is a highly outdated and damaging concept especially today when parents are living longer AND adult children have their own financial struggles. 
Why work so hard to have a relationship with someone that does not care the same way as you?

No PD is going to tell me what to do.

Born into a dysfunctional family and married into a dysfunctional family.

People who don't bring joy, let them go.

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JustKathy

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Re: Article about children supporting estranged parents in old age
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2019, 08:48:53 PM »
Quote
Any idea what happens if your pd person lives in a state with filial responsibility, but you (blessedly) donít?

That's a good question. I don't have the answer, but there are several other areas where this comes up. For example, you can cite different reasons for divorce varying from state-to-state. In CA you can only file citing irreconcilable differences or mental health issues, but in other states you can claim infidelity and/or abuse. I've often wondered what would happen if a couple splits and lives in different states with different divorce laws. The same would be true for the filial responsibility laws.

It may depend on the specific situation, like if it could be proven that the parents moved to another state for the sole purpose of filing a lawsuit. That's really a question for an attorney, but I'm curious to know myself.

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Groundhog Day

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Re: Article about children supporting estranged parents in old age
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2019, 12:28:00 AM »
It seems alot of people suing each other these days. I was reading an article not long ago about a 27 year old man from India who was suing his parents for conceiving him without his consent.  :stars:
A 17 yr old suing his biological parents for being white. He claims he suffers phycological distress from burden of having white privilege and wants his parents to pay for skin coloration. And also states the selfishness of his parents to bring another white child in this world.

The worst of it is...they will have their day in court! Are these claims phycological, legit, are we dealing with personality disorders? I don 't know what to make of these but it is a disturbing situation for the parents involved as well.


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Orangeblossom77

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Re: Article about children supporting estranged parents in old age
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2019, 04:29:13 PM »
Well, I suppose in my case I am feeling guilt about this and had an aunt recently stop contact with me due to them feeling I should be supporting my parents more. My father hints I should be taking care of him, and did move to me, but here in UK I don't think we are affected my this as much as others...perhaps. It worries me. They try to move close to me, they expected me to pay for my Granny's funeral when i was a teenage student. I have my own children and family and can't afford anything else.

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xredshoesx

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Re: Article about children supporting estranged parents in old age
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2019, 07:12:45 PM »
orange that's a rough situation.  i know if i wasn't NC with my bioligical mother she'd be pressing for the same.  you have to put your own family and kids first!  if your aunt thinks they need help maybe she should do something then.

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StayWithMe

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Re: Article about children supporting estranged parents in old age
« Reply #12 on: February 12, 2019, 08:02:24 PM »
Well, I suppose in my case I am feeling guilt about this and had an aunt recently stop contact with me due to them feeling I should be supporting my parents more. My father hints I should be taking care of him, and did move to me, but here in UK I don't think we are affected my this as much as others...perhaps. It worries me. They try to move close to me, they expected me to pay for my Granny's funeral when i was a teenage student. I have my own children and family and can't afford anything else.
I used to live in the UK.  This topic has been dealt with by the media.  There does seem to be a cluck cluck sound either in the US or the UK at the thought that the elderly might actually have to move in order to be nearer to family members. 

This of ocurse is unreasonable in many situations.  My mother moved my grandmother to our hometown, half a country away, because she could not take care of herself.  I remember hearing that cluck cluck sound.  Really? while my mother is still married to my father who is still working full time in his medical practice.  These people think my parents should sell up and move to her?

I suppose it sounds great to say that yu moved heaven and earth to provide for your parents exactly in the way they wanted.  But one, economically it's not feasible and well...... it's not like they did it for us. 

While my father was still med school, my mother wrote her mother for 5 dollars to pay the train fair to visit  her.  My mother got a letter saying that she made a huge mistake in the choice of husband.  Decades later it's my father's money that kept her afloat; kept her flush in ciagarettes and whisky.......