PD inlaws using my illness to get attention from strangers

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Kieveen

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PD inlaws using my illness to get attention from strangers
« on: February 11, 2019, 05:22:48 PM »
In the past month I found out that my PDBIL has been going around telling his Uber customers about my cancer and asking them to pray for me.   :stars: :stars:
He drives for Uber and works in ministry somewhat.  He's someone that always seems to have to have attention on himself and I felt like he was using my illness as a means to get it.  He also gets donations for his personal ministry that he then uses to travel to European countries like Italy where he spends allot of time sight seeing. 

I got so sick of the crap I blocked him on FB.  I really can't stand the guy because I believe he's a complete fraud and manipulates DH and OCPDMIL to the point that he barely works and takes responsibility for nothing.  But everyone seems to believe he's some wonderful Christian because he went to seminary.

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RavenLady

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Re: PD inlaws using my illness to get attention from strangers
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2019, 09:40:37 PM »
Yup. My PDMIL does the same thing. My DH has been VVLC with her since before we've met and I'm even further removed. We live in different states. We basically don't know each other and rarely speak.  She publishes an annual Christmas letter that she apparently sends widely to friends. family and supporters of her missionary endeavors. A few years ago she profiled me and detailed my illness and asked the world to pray for my healing. Without my permission, needless to say. It was a shocking document to receive in the mail. I felt violated. 
sometimes in the open you look up
to see a whorl of clouds, dragging and furling
your whole invented history. You look up
from where you're standing, say
among the stolid mountains,
and in that moment your life
becomes the margin
of what matters
-- Terry Ehret

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Bloomie

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Re: PD inlaws using my illness to get attention from strangers
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2019, 01:28:47 PM »
 :heythere: Well, another one in the claim staking the difficulties of family members for N supply club here! Our illnesses and losses have also been used to prop up an image of one big close connected family and also chronicled without our permission in holiday newsletters - though we are not included on the actual recipient list of these letters, so only know this happens when distant acquaintances comment on our lives and share where they heard these things. Mind you... radio silence to us during these times as they go into the woodwork completely unavailable for actual concern or any kind of support. It is also disconcerting to find our personal health and unexpected losses have been sent out to many on prayer chains without our permission.  :blink:

Kieveen and RavenLady I am sorry this has happened to all of us.  :grouphug:

As all4peace says... weaponizing information. All done seemingly to gain strategic advantage and manipulate the good will of good people and parlay our personal experiences, troubles and trials of life into nothing more than propaganda. Ewww...
« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 01:32:24 PM by Bloomie »
Bloomie 🌸

The reality is that you cannot have an emotionally mature reciprocal mutual adult relationship with someone who is not emotionally and psychologically an adult.

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Kieveen

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Re: PD inlaws using my illness to get attention from strangers
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2019, 04:24:22 PM »
Ravenlady I know the feeling of feeling violated.  I felt like my personal privacy is being violated and my illness is being used for attention seeking.   It's creepy and PDBIL hasn't so much as asked how am feeling, let alone offer myself or DH support. 


All done seemingly to gain strategic advantage and manipulate the good will of good people and parlay our personal experiences, troubles and trials of life into nothing more than propaganda. Ewww...
Bloomie So true!