A final message to a borderline parent before giving up and going NC

[nickelfault]

Hey folks. I wanted to share something that I made this past week for a borderline parent before coming to just accept that things will likely never change. I have come to some pretty painful realizations lately about my family. I have been dealt not just one instance of Borderline Personality Disorder, but three. My wife, my mother, and my grandmother. I have learned that a lot of the narcissism in my family stems from my grandmother. She had been abandoned at birth, put up for adoption. She in turn abandoned my mother when she was grade 9 with her sexually abusive step father. Something like my wife I have learned was abandoned very young and sexually abused in grade one. It has taught me that BPD can affect a teenager just as it can affect a child.

What I am sharing here today was a final attempt to get my mother to see how she had flipped from recognizing there was a problem, to completely freeing herself of any and all responsibility. It is is a four minute video that will likely resonate with anything who has a borderline parent. Text messages fail to take emotion with them and my texts often end up getting misinterpreted. Even my my tone of voice has been misinterpreted. This was my last effort I could give and I wanted it to be effective, so I created this video. The words in it by themselves are not enough to convey the emotion I wanted it to contain. I guess you could say it is a form of emotional manipulation, but for good, not evil. I have always had a difficult time describing my feelings to anyone in my family really. The best I know how to do that is to take their feelings with me as you may pick up from my video.

For the context you will need, there are two music tracks in the video. All of the quotes during the first track are directly from my text messages with my mother and they are her words. The moment the second track begins, it's all my message to my mother. "Saying goodbye" as you'll see quoted refers to my first attempt at going no contact. The video unfortunately did not get me any closer. She had some temporary realizations after I had sent her a book I read titled "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents". I sent it to her and asked her to read one chapter that explained a lot about me and how I grew into the person I am now. The two people mentioned in the video are my enabler sister and myself. I've realized we've been on the hook to regulate my mother's emotion. The video is nothing too exciting, but I figured it's very relevant here and may hit home for some people.

[werd88]

I was keen to watch but couldn't find your video in the post!

[moglow]

The video was removed by moderators due to guideline violations.