I feel more and more that there is something that just is not right with one of my siblings. Regardless of the roles NF assigned us, I figured that by us all going NC with him that we would more or less be on the same page after all the abuse. My other sibling (lost child/semi GC) and I (SG) are trying to move on but this sibling (GC demoted to SG) is refusing to let go of the past. Ever since this sibling became a parent, I feel as though there is semi silent treatment going on. Honestly, I thought that we would at last have something to bond over. My kids are much older but that doesn't mean that I haven't forgotten what it was like to have a toddler. I know it is tough at times. This sibling wanted to adopt a different approach to child rearing -- almost as if to say that they would be a better parent -- yet is now struggling like many parents do. It was no picnic for me either but I never pushed my views of child rearing on anyone. Ever.
The other thing that makes this realization so painful for me is that this sibling that was revered as the smart GC that had HUGE doors of opportunity open to them, blew it. Once they were demoted to SG, they had no leg to stand on and everything financially fell apart. They have large debt and meaningful employment has been a struggle -- something I cannot understand when they had everything going for them. I guess the validation from NF really did snuff out any sense of who they were.
What I really don't like though is that this sibling doesn't want my other sibling and I to move on with our lives. I feel like we have done so much to help them and nothing has worked. And the strange silent treatment is awful. We don't have meaningful conversations anymore...answers to questions are met with zero emotion, robotic in a sense.
Because this sibling has a small child, I care. But I am tired of our strange interactions through texting. My other sibling lives near this sibling and they hardly see each other, as they feel uncomfortable, too.
When I sense that my sibling is down I try my best to cheer them up but it seems that I am not successful.
I know I can lead a horse but not make them drink...and everyone is responsible for their own thoughts and feelings. I guess I just feel so messed up inside because I thought we were all in a good place. But it seems that fallen GC really have a very difficult time moving forward and validating each other for what we went through as children just isn't enough. I just cannot roll around in the mud anymore.