It's my birthday and I feel...ok.

[Associate of Daniel]

I don't want a party or any special attention.  Just the fact that I'm feeling ok is good enough.

For a number of years I've been very down around my birthdays and have just wanted to hide in a hole until it was all over.

But for some reason this year I'm feeling - normal.

And I'm very thankful for the improvement.

I just wish I didn't have to work.

I might shout ds and myself to fish n chips for tea.

AOD

[openskyblue]

Happy birthday!



Glad to hear you are feeling good this year. That feels like a healthy milestone.

[Malini]

It's wonderful when we can feel a shift in the way we approach events that were emotionally challenging for us and I think fish and chips are a perfect way to celebrate!

Happy Birthday.

[Associate of Daniel]

Thanks, Openbluesky and Malini.

My birthday finished on a lovely note. A very dear friend came around for a cuppa and chat.

I don't think she realised it was my birthday.  She'd had a trying day and needed some time out.  So it was lovely to be there for her and to not have the focus on my special day.

Exactly what I needed.  And hopefully a help to my friend.

The fish and chips were yum and the time spent with my ds very precious.

It's a big zero birthday next year. I've been dreading it for a few years but after this year I'm feeling more positive about it.

AOD

[Call Me Cordelia]

Congratulations and many happy returns of the day! 

[practical]

Happy Birthday!

Normal is a great feeling! It is a present you gave yourself through all your hard work on yourself. So enjoy it and pat yourself on the back  Hope you put a candle on the fish and chips 

It's a big zero birthday next year. I've been dreading it for a few years but after this year I'm feeling more positive about it.

Who cares? The Egyptians counted in a duodecimal system, so I guess their "big birthdays" were 12, 24, 36, 48, 60, 72 (if they got so old), we do decimal, it is random to me, depends on where and when you were born. Any birthday is a good one if you can manage normal, the number doesn't matter. I think the only number that ever mattered was 18, because it has real implications, you suddenly get to do a whole bunch of stuff. 

[Associate of Daniel]

Thanks, Everyone.

My birthday is being extended by a few days by your lovely well wishes. And a friend is taking ms out to lunch today too!

Practical, you're right. Normal is good - and a huge achievement.  I'm so relieved.  I just need to work a little longer in other areas of my life to get back go normal in them as well.

You're right about the zero birthdays of course. I feel the same way. The culture of my country puts a lots of emphasis on them though and it's hard to ignore.

Maybe I should have a zero +1 party instead.

I never even thought of cake or candles. Or even presents.

My day was lovely without them.

AOD

[NoVoice357]

Happy belated birthday, AOD! 

[Associate of Daniel]

Thank-you, NoVoice - and everyone.

Onwards and upwards...

🙂

AOD

[KFel024]

Dear Associate of Daniel,

Happy belated B-Day and sounds like it turned out relatively pleasant and bearable.

Not to be nosey, but why have you been down on past B-Day's and wanted to hide in a hole?

I for one am neither a B-Day celebrator nor really a holiday celebrator for that matter.  Believe should celebrate everyday as being special.

[Associate of Daniel]

KFel024, I don't really know.

I've always felt awkward at the attention received on my birthday. I'm not one to excitedly announce it to anyone. I don't like being the centre of attention, even when performing a concert that I've worked long and hard to prepare. I always feel like a bit of a fraud.

I think, since uNPD exH left nearly 6 and a half years ago, I've been hurt and frustrated that, because of his selfishness, and that of his (now) uNPD wife, my life has not turned out the way I thought it would, the way it should have.

I also was very angry and upset that I was so damaged by it all and my ability to trust anyone had been almost destroyed.

A couple of years ago too, around my birthday, a situation went down with my ex inlaws that confirmed they had decided to go nc with me (as I had suspected).

I was very deeply hurt, even though it had been a superficial relationship.

I don't know why I feel better this year. Time helps, I guess.I still have a number of issues to deal with that I don't know that I'll ever completely heal from.

But I'm enjoying the shift.

AOD

[KFel024]

Dear Associate of Daniel,

Thank you for the reply.  Glad to hear that you are enjoying the shift. 

I feel like I can relate to some of your comments.  Having things not turn out the way one wishes can be devastating, especially given the effort input.  Have significant trust issues now as well.  Gave absolute trust to my partner and was completely played the fool. 

Am sorry that your ex and their partner are still in your life.  Must be a continually slap in the face.  Hopefully you do not have to interact with them all that much.  Also, am sorry that your ex laws seem so insensitive (that whole insult to injury thing).

Good luck on your journey and will keep fingers crossed that you can heal from your issues.  Would give me hope that I could heal from my own one day.

Take care.

[Spygirl]

I dont even count birthdays anymore!