Medical hoover? Check. Now what?

[qcdlvl]

So my (NPD?) FIL made it known, through enMIL (on whom he walked out ages ago but remains his enabler), that he's ill and was having X-rays taken. No specifics on what his symptoms or issues are, what the suspected diagnosis is or what exactly the tests are looking for. He wasn't involved in an accident. He complains about how alone he is (but, as I reminded my fiancée, the phone works both ways - but His Majesty can't possibly be the one to reach out to his children). AFAIK, my fiancée hasn't contacted him - she's in near-NC with him. Anyway, the lack of a diagnosis, the vagueness of it all, combined with the complaints that his children don't reach out to him or not as much as he'd like (hmmm... he's the one thing they all have in common and save possibly the GC they're all at least partly estranged) make me think it's a hoover - possibly all made up, or possibly with a real basis, but a hoover. I don't know if it worked on anyone.

So I'm wondering what's next - more medical hoovers? He has serious but non-terminal health issues. The will? Which would be hilarious, as FIL's not a wealthy man and has multiple children. Rage when he doesn't get invited to the wedding?

[Call Me Cordelia]

Guess you'll find out. 

Seriously, we don't get to know the outcome. FIL is going to do what works for him, and you and your fiancée can do what works for you. Trying to anticipate PD antics is something of an exercise in codependency. It's a fine line between being prepared with boundaries and consequences for likely behavior based on the past, to keep yourselves safe, and anxiously awaiting what shenanigans they are going to pull next. Focus on what your own goals for your life together are. You'll know what to do. If you don't want to take the bait of "x-rays," then don't. Have you looked at the toolbox on the main site? Super helpful.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, and best wishes. You're so smart to be figuring this out before you even get married.

[qcdlvl]

Guess you'll find out. 

Seriously, we don't get to know the outcome. FIL is going to do what works for him, and you and your fiancée can do what works for you. Trying to anticipate PD antics is something of an exercise in codependency. It's a fine line between being prepared with boundaries and consequences for likely behavior based on the past, to keep yourselves safe, and anxiously awaiting what shenanigans they are going to pull next. Focus on what your own goals for your life together are.

You're right, of course - partly it's that I don't want to be blindsided (other people's experiencies as posted on this site are tremendously helpful) and partly treating it a bit as a science experiment.

You'll know what to do. If you don't want to take the bait of "x-rays," then don't. Have you looked at the toolbox on the main site? Super helpful.

Yes it's super-helpful and I probably need to browse through it again. I'm NC with FIL and my fiancée isn't contacting him (which so far amounts to NC as he won't deign initiate direct contact but will use enMIL as his FM instead). I guess I'm more worried about FOG rolling over with the right hoover or escalation to the point of becoming a serious nuisance.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, and best wishes. You're so smart to be figuring this out before you even get married.

Thanks! We're cohabiting and expecting a baby, so I don't think I'm not actually early to trying to figure out how to deal with "difficult" people in either FOO (unfortunately not just FIL). Since babies and weddings seem to bring out the worst in PDs and other unhealthy people, I'm trying to check there are no gaping holes in the fortress, so to speak.

[Entj]

The vagueness is indeed suspicious. I'd expect it to continue even if there's some real underlying condition - because keeping it vague means it can always be something even worse that the real condition.

Up until this day, we are unsure of whether FIL's several operations were due to cancer or not. MIL was handling everything and we got a lot of false information, like 'he has a polyps that is 20 cm big'  That's the size of a basket ball, obviously exaggerating the real diagnosis. MIL milked the situation by playing the 'oh poor me' act - while manipulating and trying to control us through FIL's deteriorating health.

Good thing your partner is low contact! And congrats on the coming baby  Try to focus on you two and the family you are starting

[qcdlvl]

The vagueness is indeed suspicious. I'd expect it to continue even if there's some real underlying condition - because keeping it vague means it can always be something even worse that the real condition.

Yep -  surely a normal person would communicate along the lines of "X happened, so I went to the doctor and he ordered X-rays to check for Y. I'm getting the results tomorrow." Instead we get this vague thing, So far I've not heard anything new about it, although as he doesn't initiate contact with his daughter she only hears about these things via enMIL, there might be a delay.
As in the case of your FIL, I don't really know what the truth is - FIL tried a smear campaign against me based on complete fabrications, so I definitely wouldn't put it past him to make it all up.

Good thing your partner is low contact! And congrats on the coming baby  Try to focus on you two and the family you are starting

Thanks!