Mother emotes and squirms

[Danie]

So I have always been an animal lover. I guess I could be described as an empath. I suffered with this, not really knowing what it was. When we had pets as kids my mom abused them. I won't go into details, but some of it now would be considered breaking the law.
Currently I have a 19 year old cat Daisy. She is still doing her daily do-diligence: eating, peeing, cleaning, even playing a little. She is on a couple medications and it is hard for me, but I tell myself I'll be ok when she passes.
My uBPM has seen her twice. She asks about her. I downplay her aging because mom expresses confusing emotions of grief, sadness, hopelessness, whining blah blah blah to me. She twists up her face and makes horrible grief stricken expressions. I don't get it. After I listen (ew) to this I expect some consolation.........but no. She went right into telling me she bought strawberries for a good price. Her wailing is about her. I don't know why she can take that on or what she's doing. It's clearly not empathy, sympathy or comforting for me. I find it so annoying. It's like any little bit of discontent turns into an expression she expects to be comforted for like a 3 year old.

[broken]

I also love animals, as a child they provided me with unconditional love that I did not get from anyone else.  When my NM would rage I would cry and bury my head in my dogs fur, and she would make fun of this.  She banished the dog to the basement and the outdoors, never ever inside the house.  She was cruel to my cats, and I am certain that one of them who I found dead was poisoned by her. 

Now, she feigns concern for my pets in a similar fashion to your PD mother.  She wants me to play along that she also 'loves' animals and is so attached and concerned. 

It's typical for PDs to want credit for personality attributes that they do not possess and credit for values they never displayed.  My NM wants me to play along that she was a perfect mother, kind to children and animals, etc.  At one family dinner she twisted a story about mistreatment of a cat we once owned, blaming ME for his mistreatment.  When I stood up to her and told the truth, she was angry and did not speak to me for days.  The way our pets were treated is still very upsetting to me and keeps me awake at night. 

I wish you well with your senior cat.  They are the best!