Personal Hygiene

[Jadedjanet]

Wow. My parents were completely opposite. My bpd mom and narcissistic dad were very well groomed and completely obsessed with appearances. Still are . Being thin was always admired and encouraged. I always thought my mom was disappointed that I was not the beauty queen that she was. These two beautiful people mate and produce WTF?

Our house was always clean. We would spend most of Saturday cleaning and Sunday we would dress up and go to church. I had to wear dresses, nylons and girly shoes, ugh.  My mom always seemed to be disgusted with me and would scrub me in the bathtub and angrily brush my hair.  I have fine curly hair and it never behaved the way she wanted. She would pull it tight into pony tails that gave me headaches. I still get a little feeling of PTSD if my hair pulls my scalp for any reason. I was always very careful to brush my daughter's hair gently.
My mom would wake up early sat morning and do this thing I call Anger Cleaning .  She would vacuum and dust while radiating hostility. I would hide in my room Saturday mornings while she was doing her anger cleaning. Just the act of walking into a clean room defiled it somehow.
We looked great and our house was clean but there was was no love or warmth. Mostly sadness and fear. I think it would have also terrible to grow up in unhygienic conditions. It seems good to find a middle road.