A Decision

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A Decision
« on: February 25, 2019, 07:35:28 AM »
This is the hardest decision I have ever made. Living with my decision is often challenging. I know I made the right decision, but that only makes me feel better some of the time. Mostly, I feel immensely lonely and lack the maternal love and support she once gave me. Logically I know that the chance of that input from her is unlikely to come without the pressure and demands to behave in a certain way.
The punishment far outweighed the love at the end.
Pain when I was with her. Pain now that I am not.
Different, but equally as sad.

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Whiteheron

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Re: A Decision
« Reply #1 on: February 25, 2019, 07:00:11 PM »
It's really tough at first. It took me five years to make my decision. Towards the end it was so bad, I couldn't take it anymore both physically and mentally.

It does get easier with time. You're right, the pain is different, equally sad, and unfortunately something we all need to go through.

:hug: hugs to you. You are stronger than you think.
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

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moglow

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Re: A Decision
« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2019, 07:37:43 PM »
Hello and welcome! Without more information it's hard to offer support you may be needing right now. We're here with you, wherever this journey takes you. Stick around, share what you feel comfortable sharing, and know that you're not alone! :hug:
“Nothing exposes our true self more than how we treat each other in the home.”  ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

Stop Stinkin' Thinkin'!

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AMC

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Re: A Decision
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2019, 07:33:27 AM »
Thanks for responding to my first post on here - I recently made the decision to cut contact with my mother. I am going to therapy and have signed up for a course for relatives of persons with mental illness.
I felt very alone until a kind family member spoke to a family friend who sent on the details of this forum as well as details of other charitable website with information on estrangement and relatives with mental illness.
The episode which led to my decision started in August and by January I had run out of other options (bar giving up my life to dedicate my whole entire self to her betterment - which I know wouldn't have worked!).
I have had to block her on every platform (emails/texts/Instagram etc..) because she is unrelenting in her attempts to get at me. My partner reviewed all emails, and the last one was in response to my blocking her on other platforms. He said is was horrible, so I felt right in my decision to block her out.
Until that point, I had hoped she would respect the boundaries and my wishes, so i kept lines of communication open. Now I know she doesn't have the capacity do to that.
I am trying my best to stay strong and focused on my life, but I am quite young and often miss her.