Drive by criticisms

[11JB68]

Has anyone else experienced this?
I honestly thought I made up this term until I googled it and it seems it is 'a thing'.
Co worker will stop by my desk, on the run, drop a piece of paperwork on my desk, and say something like 'I don't know you do this differently than I do' with what I perceive as an annoyed tone, and keep walking.
No discussion, it just feels like a snipe.

[Whiteheron]

stbx used to to this to put me in my place. Usually when I was in a good mood. He'd drop his snide remark then walk away or leave the house before I could process and react, but would then expect me to follow up (call or text) and try to defend myself. If I did, more insults would fly, and he would end up rehashing how I wronged him years ago   . If I ignored it and said nothing, he'd call me and start yelling about how he really meant it that I ____ and how lousy of a wife/mother I was. If he was really looking to start something he'd wait until he got home and let me have it. He would only stop when I ended up in tears.

[11JB68]

Oh Whiteheron, that's awful. I'm so sorry you experienced that! 
Thanks for sharing.
Reading your comments it makes me feel like it's maybe a form of baiting. Perhaps because I was using mc and not taking the bait is why she blew up at me recently.

[Whiteheron]

That's what it sounds like. Co-worker wanted to provoke a reaction from you. She needed to vent and you were apparently a good outlet. When you didn't give her what she needed (reaction), she blew up at you. And, unfortunately, the cycle continues.

Funny (or not) how I notice a lot of this type of behavior in some middle school girls.

[StayWithMe]

My mother does this .... or used to do this, I don't spend ,much time with her now.

I call it "verbal guerilla warfare."  She comes out of the bushes with some rude remark.  When you try to follow up, she will say "I'm not saying anything."

[SaltwareS]

Very descriptive name for this behavior! One I know well.

[StayWithMe]

That's what it sounds like. Co-worker wanted to provoke a reaction from you. She needed to vent and you were apparently a good outlet. When you didn't give her what she needed (reaction), she blew up at you. And, unfortunately, the cycle continues.

Funny (or not) how I notice a lot of this type of behavior in some middle school girls.

Yes, but I don't fall for that anymore.  I used to think that everyone "grows up" when they get older.  And they don't.  And somehow, it doesn't hurt their prospects at all

[clara]

I think there are two varieties of this type of behavior.  One is by cowards who know you're not going to respond, or don't give you the opportunity to respond since they're walking away or doing something to let you know they're not interested in discussing the criticism.  They're just dropping a little bomb on you in order to do some damage that they can scurry away from.  Generally, they already know how you're going to respond.  If you habitually ignore them or don't reply, they keep it up because they're getting away with it.  If you confront them, they get flustered and defensive but they stop doing it.  They don't really want a response and when you do, it throws off their game.

The PD variation of this is to create a mountain out of a molehill.  They act just the opposite--they want a big discussion/disagreement/argument over their criticism because they have an incessant need to be right about everything.  So even if there's nothing to really criticise, they'll find something just to get the ball rolling.  For them, responding is exactly what they expect you to do.  When you don't, they keep trying and trying and trying.  They might give up if you ignore them long enough!