Buddhism and PD's

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Kat1984

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Buddhism and PD's
« on: March 07, 2019, 02:51:54 PM »
Hi All,
I have an uBPD sister, and I am also learning more about Buddhism lately.   I'm wondering if anyone else on the Forum is practicing Buddhism too.   What do you think would be an explanation/action plan from a Buddhist perspective in regards to Borderline PD?    I imagine a Buddhist would see a person with BPD as having strong delusions.   Is there anything in particular Buddhism would recommend doing about it?

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coyote

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Re: Buddhism and PD's
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2019, 04:39:27 PM »
Kat,
I can't say I am a practicing Buddhist but I incorporate a lot of Buddhist in my daily life. Such things as meditation, reverence for live, non-striving, the notion that suffering comes from attachment and our inability to accept change. If you look at the eight fold path which is base on the four noble truths we see how the right view, the right intention, and the right speech, (especially the right intention) might help us in dealing with PDs.
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
 Wayne Dyer

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
Capt. Jack Sparrow

Choose not to be harmed and you wonít feel harmed. Donít feel harmed and you havenít been. -Marcus Aurelius

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Kat1984

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Re: Buddhism and PD's
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2019, 05:08:41 PM »
Thanks Coyote.  That is helpful.

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GentleSoul

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Re: Buddhism and PD's
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2019, 05:32:01 PM »
I only know a little about Buddhism but I do recall quite often reading that it is encouraged to remove ourselves from toxic people. 

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Dukkha

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Re: Buddhism and PD's
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2019, 08:01:27 PM »
I am a practicing buddhist and the answer I see is simple:  compassion
Doesnít mean I need to associate with PDs, just honor their shared humanity

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Miss Informed

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Re: Buddhism and PD's
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2019, 08:26:43 PM »
I'm a Buddhist. My BPD sister was a Buddhist as well for 20 years or so.  I did seek counseling from my Buddhist leaders for the problems I had with my sister. They counseled me to pray for her suffering, our suffering is because of our illusions (they don't call it delusions).   Praying for her suffering does help! Though, I must say, there were times I couldn't bring myself to do it. That's on me.
Part of Buddhist doctrine is "The Ten Worlds". It explains that living humans have ten worlds that they live in, but we all possess all ten worlds within ourselves, and may experience any world at any time. The ten worlds are Hell, Hunger, Animality, Anger, Humanity, Rapture, Learning, Realization, Bodhisattva and Buddhahood. Even when you are in the world of Hell you can experience any of the other worlds . You may like to research more about the Worlds, but for me it helps to stop and consider which world I'm "in" at the present moment. Then I can strive to reach a higher world, maybe just by learning something, or realizing what I've learned. It also can help you understand your PD person - what world are they "in"? Though they posses all ten worlds, they may not be able to get out of the lower worlds, only shuffle miserably between the 4 lowest. They still possess Buddhahood, the possibility. We all do. As my dear Buddhist friend quipped - Enlightenment is heavy, man!
Sure hope this helps you!

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Kat1984

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Re: Buddhism and PD's
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2019, 02:20:14 PM »
Thank you, Miss Informed.   It does help me, and I'll look into the Ten Worlds.  I find that having several different "takes" on PD's helps me, as depending on my mood one might help me more than another.

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guitarman

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Re: Buddhism and PD's
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2019, 09:40:10 PM »
I'm learning not to do "idiot compassion".

https://www.wildmind.org/blogs/on-practice/idiot-compassion

I hope this helps you.

guitarman
"Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace." - Dalai Lama

"You don't have to be a part of it, you can become apart from it." - guitarman

"Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can." - Anon

"If it hurts it isn't love." - Kris Godinez, counsellor and author

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Kat1984

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Re: Buddhism and PD's
« Reply #8 on: March 08, 2019, 11:23:25 PM »
Very helpful, guitarman.  Thank you.  :)

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GentleSoul

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Re: Buddhism and PD's
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2019, 03:44:14 AM »
I'm learning not to do "idiot compassion".

https://www.wildmind.org/blogs/on-practice/idiot-compassion

I hope this helps you.

guitarman

Thank you for sharing this link, Guitar Man.  An interesting read.  I can see in me that some of my "niceness" is self serving.  I can feel in my body's reaction when I do it. A sicky feeling of not being authentic. 

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openskyblue

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Re: Buddhism and PD's
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2019, 06:41:54 PM »
The writings of Buddhist nun and thinker Pena Chodron have been enormously helpful to me, especially when it comes to dealing with deep fear and reactivity. Her taped lecture called Donít Bite the Hook saved me and still does. Buddhism has many great lessons in what your responsibility and role is and is not in the world, when to step away from anger, how to embrace and live with fear.
Even a blind man can tell you when he is standing in the sun.  (Percy Sledge)

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sandpiper

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Re: Buddhism and PD's
« Reply #11 on: March 09, 2019, 09:11:36 PM »
My uBPD sister got me into the Buddhist philosophy several decades ago and while I'm glad I found it as it helped to enrich my life, she used it as a vehicle for emotional abuse in that I could never set any boundaries with her behaviour without her accusing me of being unreasonable.
I like guitarman's link to the 'idiot compassion'.
That would have helped me.

FWIW I think you'd be wise to read up on boundaries and enabling/co-dependence - there are some excellent books in the links & the toolbox.
Enjoy your spirituality but take your skill-set from psychology.
There is a wonderful book out there called 'The Compassionate Mind' by Paul Gilbert - that may help, too.

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newlife33

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Re: Buddhism and PD's
« Reply #12 on: March 15, 2019, 04:06:17 PM »
Hi All,
I have an uBPD sister, and I am also learning more about Buddhism lately.   I'm wondering if anyone else on the Forum is practicing Buddhism too.   What do you think would be an explanation/action plan from a Buddhist perspective in regards to Borderline PD?    I imagine a Buddhist would see a person with BPD as having strong delusions.   Is there anything in particular Buddhism would recommend doing about it?

I'm not Buddhist but practice a lot of the principles.  I find it is a nice counterpoint to the intensity of Personality Disorder Abuse.  Meditation and karma specifially have worked wonders for my mental health.