Do PD parents attract abusers?

[Twinkletoes88]

I don't know where to put this, or whether it's allowed...

I've just come home from therapy and I'm feeling kinda shocked although I guess I can't be, koz I already knew this...

My therapist reckons narcissistic mother's often attract the sexual abuser boyfriends/piedophiles because they see the dynamic and know the children won't be protected and will be vulnerable. She said there's often a narcissistic mother...

I have a mother with NPD and I was abused by one of her boyfriends when I was a minor.

Is this common?

[D.Dan]

Its true with my uPD mom.

In fact, she almost got a registered pedophile (that just got out of prison) to be our babysitter once. She said, "he's just so nice! He wanted to give me a break and watch the kids! For free!!! FOR ME!!!"

What stopped her, was our neighbours telling her not to. Even afterwards she seemed disappointed in not getting free babysitting.

[D.Dan]

I forgot to add, I suspect my uPD mom surrounded herself (me and my siblings by default) with several highly unstable people, in an attempt to make herself seem/feel like a good/stable person.

[artfox]

That was the case with my mom, too. She seemed completely fine with what her abusive husband was doing, and even made excuses for him. She was head over heels for him.

[NoVoice357]

Hi Twinkletoes,

Sorry to hear you were abused by one of your PDm's boyfriend. It is also validating what your therapist said. Thank you for sharing it. Society does not want to accept how cruel a mother can be to her children.
My uNPDm and also my uNPD grandmother on my father's side used to hand me off to total strangers, including sexual predators. They did not even know their names. Had I disappeared, they would not have been able to tell the police what those men were called or where they lived.

Serious neglect can lead to a Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder. I did not to develop that disorder, although I was raised to become a potential victim for sexual predators.  I had an instinct. I also knew that nobody in my family would believe me or protect me. Speaking up made it worse. Whenever I told my uNPDm I was scared of those men or that I did not want to be with them, she would deliberately leave me with them. My uNPDm did the opposite to what I wanted to assert her superiority over me in every possible way. I learnt to protect myself by never complaining to my uNPDm or to anyone. I found ways to make excuses, I did something else without letting her/them know. This way uNPDm would not notice I was protecting myself from abusers.