Guilt and a Tiny Victory

[Lauren17]

A self boundary that I've been working on is to not communicate with uBPDh when he's busy with electronics. This has reduced my frustration with being ignored, or with being chastised for "bothering" him while he's "busy."  The result has been that most days we don't exchange more the 2-3 sentences.
We recently went on an extended vacation overseas. That meant limited cell phone coverage, less living space and a whole lot of together time. He was on good behavior, so no drama, but it was hard to be together so much!  Then I felt guilty for not appreciating this wonderful trip and time with my family.   
I understand that passive aggressive personalities often deny their partners requests. My uBPDh is no exception. One small thing that I've wanted for years is an outdoor clothesline.  No, no and no. Why? It's not that big a deal. Just no. On the trip, I realized that I don't need him for that. I checked HOA rules, consulted Pinterest and this weekend I dried my silky dresses and knits  outside! Such a silly thing, but I felt such freedom and pride at enabling myself and following through that I needed to share with those who understand.
Thanks for listening.

[notrightinthehead]

So liberating when you find out how much you can do by and for yourself. Congratulations

[rubixcube]

A self boundary that I've been working on is to not communicate with uBPDh when he's busy with electronics. This has reduced my frustration with being ignored, or with being chastised for "bothering" him while he's "busy."  The result has been that most days we don't exchange more the 2-3 sentences.
We recently went on an extended vacation overseas. That meant limited cell phone coverage, less living space and a whole lot of together time. He was on good behavior, so no drama, but it was hard to be together so much!  Then I felt guilty for not appreciating this wonderful trip and time with my family.   
I understand that passive aggressive personalities often deny their partners requests. My uBPDh is no exception. One small thing that I've wanted for years is an outdoor clothesline.  No, no and no. Why? It's not that big a deal. Just no. On the trip, I realized that I don't need him for that. I checked HOA rules, consulted Pinterest and this weekend I dried my silky dresses and knits  outside! Such a silly thing, but I felt such freedom and pride at enabling myself and following through that I needed to share with those who understand.
Thanks for listening.

Not silly at all(they, and our dysfunctional selves, want us to believe our desires and achievements mean nothing). That's fantastic! With that tiny little action you can gain so much self esteem and confidence. Enjoy the feeling. I try to remember those moments where I felt capable and sane for the times when my uCovertPDw attempts to manipulate me with guilt, shame, or projection. It really helps!

Go you & thanks for sharing it. I feel good too just reading it.