Help help

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Help help
« on: March 15, 2019, 03:10:47 AM »
I lived with a man for 2 years that would argue with me and keep me up all night. We have great day then he would ask me about something in the news. I would answer his questions, but none of my answers were good enough. I would try to go bed, but he would guilt me to continue the conversation. I felt very confused and could never say anything that would please him. I got sick of him his attitude told him to leave, but begged for him back. He left, but keep going back. His x wife told some horrible things he did to her, which scared me and she is wonderful by the way. He has been gone awhile and started dating someone else. I know I am better off, but just begged for him back. He wants me to put him on the deed to my house or to buy a house with him and put everything in (all,my profits).  I said sure I will do everything you want.  What what why did I say that? He just leave and take everything. Why do I keep begging for him back. Honestly, he not that great.  What's wrong with me.   What wrong with me.  Oh my god. I just want cry. I keep doing the second stupid shit again again. I need someone to tie me up and ship me to China


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Re: Help help
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2019, 10:30:51 AM »
I am so sorry to read this: everybody deserves to feel safe and secure, particularly with a chosen partner. And some friends or loved ones certainly appreciate you here, and don't want you shipped far away.

Please be kind to yourself, and allow your mistakes.

This community is particularly adept at helping people overcome the challenges they face because of a personality disordered individual in their lives. It can be a current lover or spouse, or maybe they are dealing with the aftermath of a childhood in home with PD parents. When you are ready, please consider sharing more about the personality disorder in your experience, so members can share with your their own experiences, lessons, and tactics.

Until then, whatever brings you here, please take a slow, still moment to wish yourself peace. To wish yourself safety. To ask, "may I have peace? May I be safe?" Because -- even as a total stranger across untold miles of internet line -- I promise you that you deserve it.

Radical Acceptance, by Brach   |   Self-Compassion, by Neff    |   Mindfulness, by Williams   |   The Book of Joy, by the Dalai Lama and Tutu
Healing From Family Rifts, by Sichel   |  Stop Walking on Egshells, by Mason    |    Emotional Blackmail, by Susan Forward



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Re: Help help
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2019, 10:50:54 AM »
I think many of us here can say weve been in a similar situation. Why am I overlooking these huge problems with my partner? Why do I know he or she is toxic or dangerous, yet keep wanting the relationship? Why am I suffocating emotionally or even physically.

Many people with PDs can be incredibly charming and/or convincing. And it can be very hard to get away from them, even when you know deep down that its the right thing to do. Keeping you up, denying you sleep is a pretty typical way to control someone. Convincing someone to buy a home with them is another way. Be careful, read up as much as you can on PDs, and stay close to supportive friends and family. The toolbox on this website is a great place to start learning.

Good luck to you. You are not alone.
Even a blind man can tell you when he is standing in the sun.  (Percy Sledge)