Newbie on here

[Pumpkinspice19]

Hi,   I'm sort of new on here - I was here in 2015 when I was married to my 'box of frogs' - now divorced and two years on still looking for answers. I still love the 'box of frogs' and can't move on with another relationship. I have had two relationships since leaving and both wanted marriage and commitment neither of which I can do - so I end the relationships. My 'BOF' did some terrible things to me and still is to this day, he is totallly controlled and reliant on his mother (he's 56 yrs old) and there's a hurt confused little boy in there somewhere. I have read the different personality disorders on the website and he and his mother tick so many boxes - I tick some too ( rescuer syndrome, clinical depression, enabling, etc.,) but I feel I am beginning to destroy my own life because of not being able to break the tie. My BOF mentally and physically abused me, I thought he would see over time that I posed no threat, but his behaviour was unpredictable and very odd. I know the BOF is dangerous and illogical in his actions - so why can't I let go and move on ?  Please anyone - ???

[Starboard Song]

 Welcome to Out of the FOG. You Are Not Alone. Whether you are dealing with a personality disorder, or just a difficult, demanding, manipulative person, it is not uncommon to get entangled and it is very difficult sometimes to get free.

It sounds like you are already reading in our tool box. There is so much good information there. Look around on our shows and relationships board, and working on us.

I have come to believe that self-care is as important as practical knowledge about disorders. So set aside part of your time, please, to take care of yourself. The top line of my signature identifies the books that my wife and I found most helpful to us on our journey.

Good luck,  and welcome.