The healthy people in my family are starting to understand!

[newlife33]

Long story short everyone on my dad's side of the family is a malignant narcissist and my mom's side is just hunky-dory okay people. My mom died eight years ago, and when she passed I began to realize there was something wrong with my family and I currently am two years no contact with my dad's side.

That being said, as we all know narcissists are wonderful at projecting and creating a narrative where people don't see how crazy they are. For the first year I was no contact it was very uncomfortable with my mom's side of the family. I love them a lot and hung out with them still, but I could tell something was off. I didn't tell them I was no contact but I stopped talking about my dad with them.

Then ask her about a year no contact, my cousin's began to tell me that my dad had contacted them and was asking for my phone number and address... The level of bizarreness and disrespect that I felt when I found this out was Paramount. What kind of psycho would have to reach out and ask a cousin they don't even talk to you for their own son's phone number? Obviously I'm not talking to him for a good reason if he's doing this.

But still my cousins and Mom side of the family thought nothing was wrong and that it was just a temporary Tiff.

And then after the second year no contact, their tune began to change and they are now finally seeing the Deep toxicity and craziness of my father and his siblings. They are relentlessly calling and harassing numerous members of my mom's side of the family via Facebook, telephone, email and the like. It's borderline stalking.

Last night we all had dinner together, and for the first time I could see that they were really on my side and very very very sympathetic to what I must have gone through. I feel like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders as now I feel like I'm finally accepted into my cousins and Mom's side of the family and supported fully. I know the battle isn't over yet, and those narcs are really tricky and we'll keep it up, but it just feels so good to have my healthy family realize that I'm not to blame in that my dad and his side are the real trouble.

[Maisey]

I also had difficulty when i tried to talk to my FOO about my MIL.

While I am grateful  that they weren't the kind of people that would discard MIL out of hand because of what they  felt was a misunderstanding or perhaps overblown on my part, it was  tough not having support from my FOO. A couple of years time.

Once I cut back on MIL's opportunities to use me and my children as supply, she started in on my FOO. Then it was "something needs to be done about this" when they were affected.  Yeah, you think?

M.

[all4peace]

Validation is so incredibly healing. I'm so thankful you got this from your M's family!

[Maisey]

I can understand why it took awhile for people to understand. After all, this woman had been my MIL for decades and I start talking about bizarre things.

And what a time that is, needing FOO support and making myself more vulnerable to MIL's behaviors until I got it.

M.

[EntWife]

NewLife - I envy your circumstance! How validating it must be that your healthy family sees the truth of the other side! It feels terribly lonely being the only one who sees abusive people for what they are. I hope this positive course continues for you! It gives me hope!

[newlife33]

NewLife - I envy your circumstance! How validating it must be that your healthy family sees the truth of the other side! It feels terribly lonely being the only one who sees abusive people for what they are. I hope this positive course continues for you! It gives me hope!

Thanks.  It is still a bit awkward but everyday it gets easier and easier.  I hope you find your way as well.  Loneliness is temporary.

[Rize]

This is so nice to hear. I think one of the best things to do (maybe the only thing) is to just let people find out for themselves. I'm sorry your relatives are now being harassed!