When or Should You Date

[Kat54]

My divorce is coming near its end I hope. I keep hoping as I want so badly to have a life again. Still living at my sisters and with any luck this settlement meeting with my ex will bring this all to an end or close to it.
Not that I want to jump immediately into dating. I think I should wait until getting settled with a place to live and a new job. I go back and forth with wanting to share my life with someone who truly cares about me, and then again I like being alone and not have to answer to someone else, its been super liberating. My huge fear would to be with someone again like my ex.  I have abandonment issues and can't carry that into a new relationship. My mother was very mentally ill and made for a traumatic childhood.
I spent several years in therapy and recognize what I do and why I'm attracted to emotionally unavailable men, so dating will be the test. 
Many days as I want to have someone in my life, a lot of days I don't, too afraid. Should I try dating? Or stay away from it for awhile..

[Rose1]

Realistically it's best to work on our own issues and fall out from the relationship. This can take a while. We take fleas into a new relationship or pick the same type, and the fewer the better

[mrstring]

There is no set answer for that. As long as you are dating for the right reason and not to not be alone. It's true, you have to have your head on right in order for a relationship to work. 8 months after my split, I met someone, wondered if it was too quick then decided it was right and I didn't want to miss out on this wonderful woman. Also, before that I was happy being alone and with my own thoughts.

[Boat Babe]

I am 8 month NC after a short relationship (18 months) with an upd guy.  If the right man came along, I wouldn't say no, but I am not actively seeking one. As a lifelong codependent I have gone from one relationship to another with almost no gaps. From the age of 16 to 61 I think I have had two years of being single if I add up the short periods between men!!!! So at the moment, I am consciously living alone to see what happens. I do relish my own space and freedom and got round the feelings of loneliness, especially at night, by getting a dog. He's great company, uncomplicated and loving!
So if that's any help, you're welcome. Good luck