Professional test vs. MRI? It should be a no brainer!

[Samuel S.]

I found out from my PDw that she is taking the 4th of major national exams Monday. She has been preparing for this exam for about 3 weeks. She could take this exam some other time, but she wants to get it over with. Then, she can devote more time to her doctorate program. So, all of her spare time has been devoted to studying. Since I FaceTime some of my students where we live and since she can hear through the walls, I have been going to some hot spots so I don't bother her.

In the meantime, I told her several times that I have a 2nd MRI Monday, the same day as her exam out of town. When I mentioned it again to her tonight, she said she had to continue studying.

While I respect her need to take this last test in a series, if she were a supportive SO, I would want her to go with me for moral support. This MRI is to find out if there are any significant changes and the cause of the numbness on the right side of my face and the intermittent pain on both sides of my neck. The MRI is of both my head and my neck. So, I am very concerned, yes, even afraid, but it would be comforting to have a supportive, loving SO with me. Nevertheless, her being a PDw and her inability to be trusted and true and constant make me have ambivalent feelings.

Bottom line, I am going to take the MRI alone. I did the 1st MRI alone. Her sister took me to the biopsy, because my PDw was working about 4 miles away.

So, I need your positive energy today through Monday and when I get the results and when I meet my doctor to discuss the results. I just wish I would have a trusted, supportive, loving SO, the very qualities I give freely in the past, today, and in the future.

Thank you for letting me vent!

[Whiteheron]

Virtual hugs and positive vibes heading your way!

It's understandable that you would want support from your W. I'm sorry she is unable/unwilling to provide it when you need it the most.

I hope everything goes well with your second MRI.

[1footouttadefog]

I hope you get the best possible report.

The truth is that even if she canceled her exam and attended your neighborhood, she would not be a supportive presence.

I found out from my PDw that she is taking the 4th of major national exams Monday. She has been preparing for this exam for about 3 weeks. She could take this exam some other time, but she wants to get it over with. Then, she can devote more time to her doctorate program. So, all of her spare time has been devoted to studying. Since I FaceTime some of my students where we live and since she can hear through the walls, I have been going to some hot spots so I don't bother her.

In the meantime, I told her several times that I have a 2nd MRI Monday, the same day as her exam out of town. When I mentioned it again to her tonight, she said she had to continue studying.

While I respect her need to take this last test in a series, if she were a supportive SO, I would want her to go with me for moral support. This MRI is to find out if there are any significant changes and the cause of the numbness on the right side of my face and the intermittent pain on both sides of my neck. The MRI is of both my head and my neck. So, I am very concerned, yes, even afraid, but it would be comforting to have a supportive, loving SO with me. Nevertheless, her being a PDw and her inability to be trusted and true and constant make me have ambivalent feelings.

Bottom line, I am going to take the MRI alone. I did the 1st MRI alone. Her sister took me to the biopsy, because my PDw was working about 4 miles away.

So, I need your positive energy today through Monday and when I get the results and when I meet my doctor to discuss the results. I just wish I would have a trusted, supportive, loving SO, the very qualities I give freely in the past, today, and in the future.

Thank you for letting me vent!

[Samuel S.]

Thankfully, my MRI shows my brain is normal completely, although it still doesn't explain the numbness on the right side of my face and intermittent pain on both sides of my neck. I have a follow up appointment with my doctor next Monday.

When I told my PDw about the results, she told me nothing was wrong with my brain. Then, she went on about the cost of the insurance paying for my health. Again, it is about money for her and not what I am experiencing. Then, she went about how her body is so tight. After giving her a gift certificate for a deep tissue massage, she decided to use it this afternoon and complained how hurt she was.

However, like my T said to me, I have to take care of myself, although if she were in need of doctor or hospital care, no judgment here. Whatever it takes is what is needed to restore health.

[Cascade]

I'm glad your test results were good and am sorry that your wife is being so uncaring and selfish.

[GentleSoul]

Glad to hear your results were good.  Sorry about the lack of support. 

If it is of any comfort, in my teens I made the mistake of asking uPD mum to come along to a medical procedure I needed.  She ramped it all up into a big drama and made it all about her.  I learnt from this that it is best to go along on my own.

A PD does not support, they ramp the anxiety up.

[1footouttadefog]

I am so glad you are pursuing this.

I know of a man who had neck and jaw pain.  His docs decided he had TMJ and he wasted two years treating that only to later be diagnosed with neck and throat cancer in late stage.  His surgical options would leave him disfigured beyond recognition, using a stoma and a stomach tube etc.  He had decided to let nature take its course with palliative care only.