Dreams about arguing with your pwpd?

[Call Me Cordelia]

I've had several dreams since starting EMDR that involve me have a verbal fight with one or the other of my uNparents. They always are very much in character, often saying things to me that they have said in real life. But the difference is in my dreams I'm able to speak back to them like I never could in real life. And I don't feel afraid. Mostly angry. Anybody else have this experience?

Last night it was my mother having a go at me for wanting to fix up my house. Who am I to think what I have isn't good enough? I should be grateful to have a house at all, and I'm a bad wife because I am making DH's life more difficult. It's a wife's job to make his life easier, he's the head of the family and what I want and the children matter not at all. Period.  I should put the kids in school (we homeschool) and go get a part time job at Walmart. SHE HAS SAID ALL OF THIS TO ME, in those words even, just in the dream it was bald with none of the windowdressing of what a dedicated mother I am blah blah blah. Just the raw and real contempt I know she has for me. In the dream I gave her a cheeky answer about going to go soak in my claw foot tub and eat some bonbons. 

I don't have a claw foot tub. Yet. Lol.

But seeing it all in a dream like that, has really shown me the trauma behind these things. I wake up feeling worn out.

[Goldielocks]

Hi, I've not done EMDR with a professional but I do know about it. It seems to me that your brain is acting-out how you wished you had responded in the past.  EMDR is visiting the memory and telling your mind how it made you feel while doing certain exercises to deal with it better I believe? It would seem that you are responding well to the treatment and that your brain is sorting through it all.
You must tell your EMDR specialist of course.

[Artemis T]

I'm actually going to be starting EMDR therapy this month, from what I do know about it I understand that it focuses on reprocessing traumatic information so maybe that's it? Either way I'll be interested in asking my therapist if this is a common side effect or cause of EMDR.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Emailed this to my EMDR therapist. She said She hopes I get that tub and enjoy those bonbons. You go girl! 

[Goldielocks]

Call Me Cordelia,  I love the sound of your therapist!

[guitarman]

This sounds all very positive that you are talking back in a calm way to your mother in your dreams.

I do the same thing when I dream or have nightmares about my uBPD/uNPD sister. I say things to her calmly in my dreams that I would never dare to say to her face to face. Maybe one day I will.

I did say something calmly to her on the phone in real life recently that I have been practicing and dreaming about.

Taking tiny steps and setting boundaries helps. Little by little things can change. It takes courage to express your own feelings. Maybe this is what all your dreams are about and rehearsing in them what you would really like to say to your mother.

Best wishes

guitarman X

[1footouttadefog]

This may be good news that your EMDR is working.

It's my understanding that some trauma memories are "written" down in a way that they stay fresh and in the shock zone and don't get processed with the passing of time. EMDR seeks to change they way they are written down so to speak.

If old memories and experiences are now being processed by your subconscious mind in dream sleep, you may very well be getting your money's worth from the therapy.

I hope this is good news.