Should I Do This?

[midnyteblu]

Hi All! I need some help/ clarity on the best path to take.

The ex text me today.  His birthday was a few days ago. I didn't expect to hear from him, and felt irritated to see his message. It's been a little over 2 years since I went full NC.

The message was the typical "trying-to- keep- it-light" while also letting me know that I was constantly on his mind, and the one that got away. But also that, though we're not together, and won't be together, I'll always be the one. And he threw in the pet name he used to call me.

I used to have panic attacks and bawl whenever he'd contact me.  I thank God I'm past that now. I screenshot the message for documentation, and left it at that.

But now I'm wondering if I should say something? The door is firmly shut to him on my side. Shut, locked, bolted. And then obliterated. I have no feelings for him. I just want to tell him that contact is unwanted, and to stop. I don't hope he'll respond back, I don't want a conversation. I just don't want him popping up every few years,  dangling a half-eaten carrot.

What should I do? Thanks for any advice!

[sad_dog_mommy]

Hello!   Sometimes no reply says more than an actual text.  And if you were to send an actual text he might misinterpret it to mean you are open to some form of limited communication. 

Look forward towards the future!   

[Associate of Daniel]

Is blocking his number an option?

AOD

[midnyteblu]

Hi sad_dog_mommy and AOD, thanks for responding!

I've stayed quiet up til now. He's emailed, text, and called during my two years away, and I've ignored it all.

I've blocked his true cell number and emails through my cell phone carrier, but he's continued to call, text, and email with internet phone numbers and dummy email accounts. I block each new phone number and email he uses. Still, it's irritating.

I can remain quiet, it's not a struggle for me. I've been doing it over 2 years now. But the thought did come that maybe I should have some documentation that I've told him to stop contacting me. I think he would get the meaning, with him being in law enforcement, which might get him to stop...?

[Associate of Daniel]

Ah. So maybe a Cease and Desist letter to him from your lawyer might be the next step. Although if his contact is intermittant such a letter might not be considered warranted.

Then changing your phone number and/or phone service provider.

What a pain


AOD

[midnyteblu]

AOD - A Cease and Desist... that's something to think about.  That helps me keep up NC, while still getting the point across.

I've fought having to change my number. I've changed so much already, and so much has been forcibly changed, I've held on to whatever little things I could. I run a business with this number as well.

So I guess that's my answer  If I'm unwilling to change my number, then I must be willing to put up with the texts and calls... Texting him and telling him to stop isn't the best thing to do.

[Whiteheron]

Sounds like he's periodically testing the waters...I agree with the other posters - silence is best. He's looking for supply, and any direct response from you will open the door.

[midnyteblu]

Sounds like he's periodically testing the waters...I agree with the other posters - silence is best. He's looking for supply, and any direct response from you will open the door.

Agreed. Thanks, Whiteheron!