Stopping over from OOTS

[Oscen]

Hi there guys, I've been spending a bit of time over on the sister site OOTS and thought I'd pop over here and access some of the great resources and reach out to the lovely community members here. Nice to meet you! 

I believe my mother has some sort of NPD or possibly BPD; one of my older sisters probably has the same thing too, or some kinds of fleas. My whole FOO - mother, father, and four daughters - has been very dysfunctional and "emotionally illiterate", as I like to think of it, and I grew up really not able to learn how to function well, and my sisters have had similar problems too. I've picked up fleas, as I can be quite critical and negative in my head, struggle to make and sustain friendships, struggle to self-regulate in many different ways, and am very lazy, in an I-don't-trust-myself-to-do-anything-right-so-I-won't-bother kind of way.

Having said that, I have been improving gradually all through my adult life - I'm now 33 - as I've moved to the other side of the world from my family and unintentionally went grey rock (it just felt natural), I've had therapy, I've had a long-term relationship with a loving man who is helping me heal, and overall, I'm dedicated to improving myself.

Learning about NPD, emotional abuse (mostly through neglect), and dysfunctional families is helping me so much - both to understand what happened to me, and to learn how to change my behaviour and thoughts to be happier and more functional. Of course, it's often two steps forward, one step back, but I've made enough progress now to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel - I really, really, can feel good most of the time, I can build a life that I want, explore my talents, express myself, and feel valued.

Thanks for reading, and I'm sure you'll see more of me here.

[Heartily]

Hi Oscen!   

I read your story, so familiar. It´s never too late to get out. I suppose, healing is a slow process, everyone has their individual pace. As I am getting older, I am realising that I have a right to be happy, I have a right to be in good humour, I have a right to be treated with respect. People who are ill, do not know any better. For me, it´s been difficult to know, when my help is necessary and when I am not the one who needs to help at the cost of my own life, happiness and well being. I am just tired of people with whom it always ends up with abuse, no matter what. That´s all they can. The question for me is that do I have the right to not to help and just pursue my own life fulfillment. At least, some normal companionship and normal life. I am just so freaking tired of a certain behaviour and enough is enough.

Take care, Oscean.

[coyote]

Just wanted to say welcome to Out of the FOG. Seems you have made quite a comeback. You story will be uplifting for all I am sure. Thank you for sharing.