Asking about title change from PD Inlaws to something slightly more inviting

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tea-lady

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Hi,     Can I ask if the moderators  or who if someone can change the name of the sub forum  'PD In Laws to   PD MIL, PD FIL AND PD DIL.'

 Just maybe there would be more posts for people who need  real help and support for eg. PD DIL or U PD DIL. As it is its too word specific to one group and reading through the posts titles. It all about monster MIL. Or reword it to ALL the types of inlaws. We're out there and its daunting to post in that forum. I think there is only 2 threads looking for support on PD or U PD DIL. I have been supported in my need, but I think if the tittle read different, there would be more support for the ones lurking who think they dont belong.

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coyote

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Tea lady, Thank you for your question. Just to be sure I understand, the current title for that board is "PD InLaws, An In-Law Relative suffers from a Personality Disorder". I'm not sure I understand how renaming the boards would elicit more posts. Is it possible there are just more problems with MILs than DILs?
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
 Wayne Dyer

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
Capt. Jack Sparrow

Choose not to be harmed and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been. -Marcus Aurelius

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Bloomie

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tea-lady - thanks for raising the question. The title of the board is meant to be all inclusive for those dealing with PD in law relationships. That said, I can see the tension when many of the members who post on the PD In Laws board are posting from the perspective of a dil with a PD mil or PD fil. I appreciate your sensitivity around this. We will kick around your suggestion with the team.

I remember you did post on the In Laws board about a PDdil and the discussion was productive and helpful to us all as we consider the different experiences we all have in the family dynamic with a PD family member in the mix. I hope you will continue to post there and offer your valuable and helpful input and experiences and support as we all journey through the complexities of all of this together.




Bloomie 🌸

The reality is that you cannot have an emotionally mature reciprocal mutual adult relationship with someone who is not emotionally and psychologically an adult.

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Spring Butterfly

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Thanks for opening up the discussion/ suggestion.
Each and every contact with a PD person results in damage. Plan accordingly and make time to heal. See Toolbox for tips. Individuation is the key to emotional freedom.

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moglow

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Tea-lady, we've had quite the discussion on this and honestly don't have a solution for you.  Spelling out all the different types of in law relationships would be redundant and inevitably lead to "but what about ..." questions. While the dynamics are indeed different from other in-law relationships, it appears at this time there simply isn't the level of interest as for other relationship.
“Nothing exposes our true self more than how we treat each other in the home.”  ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

Stop Stinkin' Thinkin'!

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Spring Butterfly

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My situation is a severely PD brother in law and the discussions in the in laws board helps because the boards are broken out by the nature of the relationships.

The In Law relationship is about dealing with adults who are not your direct blood relative and therefore isn't an unchosen relationship but neither is it entirely chosen. Rather the PD is either the chosen mate or unchosen parent / sibling of ones direct relative. It's an indirect connection to the PD that creates a unique dynamic. Technically we don't need to be in the relationship at all.

The board description was edited to reflect "any" PD in law however this doesn't change the participants or the relationships everyone on the board builds with one another. We're a support community of individuals building virtual relationships to help one another along our journey. Hopefully you can continue to build those relationships in the In Laws board supporting others and finding support in your journey.
Each and every contact with a PD person results in damage. Plan accordingly and make time to heal. See Toolbox for tips. Individuation is the key to emotional freedom.