Invalidation by partner

  • 3 Replies
  • 172 Views
*

TooLiteral

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 40
Invalidation by partner
« on: October 14, 2019, 05:58:32 PM »
I'm bisexual. My husband has known my sexuality from the moment we began dating. We don't talk about it because it makes him uncomfortable (homophobic.) It's never been an issue. He's always been supportive and kind. But recently, because of my medium chill practice and efforts to pull away from his narcissistic behavior, he has started to become antagonistic toward my sexuality. Yesterday, I was wearing a bi pride bracelet and he told me to take it off. He told me he doesn't "believe in" bisexuality and that I am not bisexual because I am married to a man. All I could do was look at him and walk away, but the erasure was painful.

Has anyone else had their PD use their sexuality against them like this? What did you do?

*

11JB68

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 1241
Re: Invalidation by partner
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2019, 06:08:32 PM »
IMO most negativity and/or discomfort by pwPD around sexuality (esp other than hetero) has something to do with projection of their own fears and insecurities.

*

Penny Lane

  • Host Member
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • 1058
Re: Invalidation by partner
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2019, 01:21:31 PM »
Hi TooLiteral,
I'm sorry your husband is treating you this way.

I think we often see that when someone tries to set boundaries (and especially through medium chill) the PD escalates their behavior. They often go after things that are very important to you or areas where they think you are going to be sensitive.

To me this is proof that medium chill is working, and therefore if it were me I would continue the medium chill about this topic as well. But you also might ask yourself, do you want to keep living with someone who is disrespectful to who you are?

 :bighug:

*

TooLiteral

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 40
Re: Invalidation by partner
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2019, 09:21:45 PM »
To me this is proof that medium chill is working, and therefore if it were me I would continue the medium chill about this topic as well. But you also might ask yourself, do you want to keep living with someone who is disrespectful to who you are?

 :bighug:

This is becoming less of a question of whether I do a d more of a question of "why do I keep staying?" Thank you for your lovely words.