Harping on something when you've agreed to do it

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11JB68

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Harping on something when you've agreed to do it
« on: May 18, 2019, 06:27:54 PM »
I'm putting this here, but it's about uPDh and DS21. Wondering if others dealt with this with their own pd parents.
UOCPDH regularly insists that we abide by his arbitrary 'rules'. There are many we don't fight him on, just to keep some peace. But then he does this...
Instead of just being content that we've done as asked...he has to draw attention to it. I almost feel like it's baiting...? Or is he really just clueless??
e.g. he insists that ds cut his hair. Ds would prefer to have long hair. It was a HUGE fight. Ds (and I) have agreed to go along. H has accepted that ds will get his hat cut about 4 times a year, not super short. So the plan is he should get it cut soon after returning home for the summer from college. Ds home for 4 DAYS, had already picked a day for a haircut, but h has to say to me 'he needs a haircut' (yes its already scheduled). Ds gets hair cut today. Comes home. H has to comment on it, how it's good he can see his neck now, etc. Both ds and I medium chill this whole interaction. I mean the kid agreed to do what he wants, did it, clearly isn't happy about it, why not leave well enough alone when you got what YOU wanted??
On the other hand, when h has had to suck it up and do something someone asks of him and isn't happy about it he's reacted this way:
e.g. client insists on x. H disagrees. Client persists. H does x grudgingly. Client praises x as a good idea. H:"It wasn't my idea, and it wasn't a good idea".
I'm sure ds feels like saying this to h about the haircut....

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Call Me Cordelia

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Re: Harping on something when you've agreed to do it
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2019, 11:27:51 PM »
Oh, yeah. With both of them. Pretty much nag nag nag to do whatever their way. Nag nag nag nag nag. ďOk, fine!!! Now please leave me alone!!!Ē Oh isnít it so much better that way? See I told you so. Imagine that your old mother isnít completely stupid. You would have kept doing that dumb...  :blahblahblah:

Eventually I figured out Iíd get nagged no matter what so giving in didnít actually get me any reward whatsoever!

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11JB68

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Re: Harping on something when you've agreed to do it
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2019, 12:45:26 AM »
Well giving in to uocpdh doesn't result in a reward, but it avoids raging...we don't like the raging, so it's all about avoiding that
 :(