Hello..again

[2_exhausted]

Hi.

I was on this site a few years ago, I forget my username.

I have an uBPD elderly mother. I knew there was something "wrong with her" when I was 3-4 yrs old.  I am an only child which makes things horrible. I am a SG. In fact when she did not have dementia, she told me "it was your fault you were raped", "you asked for it", etc. In true PD fashion, she appears to the rest of the world as absolutely wonderful & kind.

I have known an uNPD guy for 10 years. That story is a bad Lifetime movie, 10 part mini series. I have been dating him on & off. Right now I am very limited contact as I am finally finding my power & doing some self care.

Thank you & I hope everyone is safe.

Hugs-

2_exhausted

[Spring Butterfly]

Warm welcome back and really glad you knew where to come for comfort and support. What a horrible history to have lived with and it's not uncommon to wind up in a similar relationship with a chosen partner. It's good you decided to focus on some self-care. Wishing you peace and healing.

[2_exhausted]

Thanks Spring Butterfly,

I am an Adult Child, the T thinks I am emotionally ~~11-13. My father died when I was 11. PDmom was already whacky, this fueled it, in my opinion.  No one in her FOO would validate me. I used to get dropped off at a mall with money, buy myself Christmas gifts, wrap them, place them under the tree that I put up ( she was /is helpless). And pretend she bought them for me.    Oh so many bad memories..

N BF sent me a text at 1 am stating he is " so lonely he wishes he was dead". This was intended to make me feel guilty. Happily my phone was off. Yes, I need to get out of this relationship because it is so unhealthy. I know this board is where I need to be, along with a new T.
Hugs,

2_exhausted

[Seven]

Hey 2,
Me again.  We're pretty close in same situation.  Feel free to go back in my posts.  I was with a uNPDh for 16 years. Once I was able to get out, I had to do a lot of mental recovering, learning that it's ok to not need a partner, and when I'm ready to find another partner, I had a checklist.

Figure out what it is you want out of a relationship, make that list, and stick to it.  Know how you want your relationship to be and don't stray.  Red flags?  Move on to the next. 

I literally went on 17 first dates before I met my current DH.  We've been together 10 years, married for 8.  Two peas in a pod.

Don't settle.