Shaming to Make a Point

[Mikeb44]

My BPDw has been trying to hunt about another child. Our current son is 17 months. The initial few conversations, I have asked to work on us as I don't believe were strong enough to have another kid. I offered to visit a therapist with her to really work on this. I bet you can figure out how that went.

Anyways, today she took her manipulation effort to another level. I have a child that I pay support for but the mother decided to not have me in the child's life. It's a sore subject to begin with for me but my BPDw makes it about how it affects her. So infusing this sore subject, she said she didn't want our son to only have that child as an sibling to rely on if we didn't have another.

I was shocked and went to Medium Chill not responding to much after that while she lectured me about how I'm a screw up. But this statement plus the last weekend statement of she doesnt trust me with our child that came out of no where leads me to believe we are not going to make it. She doesnt want to work together on anything and she wants to be right all the time.

I am very alone on this and really hage the reality of the situation where I know there really is only one more step of trying to make this better which is severe.

Any support or suggestions of how to handle this much appreciated. I'm kind of lost.

[notrightinthehead]

I am so sorry, that must really hurt.
As far as another child is concerned, I think you are being responsible and behaving as an adult by having doubts about bringing another child into a troubled relationship. You just have to read on the dealing with PD parents board to become aware how damaging a PD parent can be for their children.
Your son is only 17 months old, maybe there is still a bit of time to decide when and if you want to have another one. As long as you have only one you can give that baby all your love and attention. You can be there for your son now. Also, I think in a really good relationship one partner would not bully the other one to have another child.