New coworker-abuser

[2_exhausted]

Hi-

I work with a toxic group of people, many whom probably have PDs.

Anyway, they just hired a fairly new person's husband to join our staff. I have worked with him ~16-17 years ago. He is a covert N....he did something to me, which would have caused him to be fired if I was believed. I did not report it. I was much younger &weaker than I am now.

He starts Monday.  I do not want to work with him. We work in pairs.....I cannot work with this person. I have no idea what to do. Do I reveal this to a manager, so I am never paired with him?

I do not want to be forced to leave my job, and I have the ability to block him out of my mind, as long as I do not have to work one on one.

Any thoughts?  Thanks.

[StayWithMe]

I have worked with him ~16-17 years ago. He is a covert N....he did something to me, which would have caused him to be fired if I was believed. I did not report it.

Let's imagine how might out summarize that incident and tell your boss before you start working with this guy.

[2_exhausted]

StayWithMe,

He is hired, so they will not do anything....my only hope is that I am able to stay far away from him in that I do not have to partner with him..he has a lot of experience & I am sure had great references

I will try to think of a way to summarize it.

I just do not want to be triggered and end up resigning.

[TriedTooHard]

You say that there may be many uPDs in this group.  I've worked in groups like that and its been my experience that the non-PDs in the group, even in positions of power, will do what's easiest and that usually involves placating the uPDs. 

Whatever tactics the uPDs are using, it could backfire on us if we try to use the same ones.  So, for everyone in that group, a strong adherence to medium chill and grey rock is helpful.  Is there any way you can quietly get yourself into different assignments or working hours than this man?  No JADE, no details, just simple, shortly worded requests?  And then while, there, re-assess and decide if its better to wait it out or find a permanent shift on another team?

Remember, medium chill and grey rock while trying to make these changes.  This is an actual example I've experienced in a group like this, where I gave too much detail:

uPD to supervisor:  "I need to get in shape and be a better wife/husband/son/daughter/parent - getting x assignment will make it easier for me to achieve those personal goals." 

supervisor:  "OK!"

TriedTooHard to supervisor:  "I'd like to schedule some elective dental work - getting y assignment will make it easier for me to achieve that."

Supervisor:  "this job is more important than elective dental work"

[2_exhausted]

The management permits bullying.  Example...a bunch of new nurses started around the same time I did. I had many yrs of experience, the other ones required training. One is very young & beautiful & thin...think Princess Jasmine, and she is nice. The uPDs bully her, and continue to. Management put her on probation ....she confided in me...I try to help her & tell her they are just jealous. I honestly believe this to be true. They give her terrible assignments. They set her up to fail. It is sad.

[2_exhausted]

I did speak with my immediate boss. I did not give specifics. I informed her I was stating something about a person, not an employee, TODAY.  She said she needed her people to feel safe and try not to assign us together. I am just happy that I was proactive, whether she stands by her word, who knows.