wonder what's up

[lostsister]

My sister has had no contact with my parents or I since her last blow up at me and my mom in 2016.   She has turned people in our own family against us.

Two weeks ago - out of the blue - she calls my parents.  Wants to come visit.  Sits down and cries.  Tells them everything is her fault.  She lied...blah, blah, blah.

Next day I leave to go to an appointment...and who calls?  Sister.   She wants to speak to me. 

More than a week goes by.  She calls again.  Wants to speak to me.  I am outside with a relative which my mother tells her.  She talks and then hangs up.

Just waiting for the police officer to call me (yep - she's had a friend of hers who was also a police officer get one of his police buddies do that blaming me for something).  Wonder what's up.  What is going to hit the fan now........

I want what I thought was my life back.  I guess that is too much to ask in this day and time.  Just so tired of all this mess.

[moglow]

Well, the good news is you have choices - you could hear her out or you can refuse to speak with her. And either way you can still choose to continue on, with or without her in your life, as can your parents. You don't have to accept her chaos back into your life. You can absolutely hear her out, thank her for sharing ... And continue on your way.

I don't know the backstory but I do know the only person you can control in this is you. Think about what you want, what you can control in that want, and move in that direction. I know it sounds simpler than the reality, but really, no one can force a relationship you don't want.

[lostsister]

Same old mess....just another day/year.

Nothing has changed.  NOTHING.  Just trying to triangulate and turn my mother, father, and me against each other and me.
When I have no reaction whatsoever to her text message.....I get a message....."As expected.  I won't bother y'all anymore."

[moglow]

I've received several of those messages from my mother, and I'm sorry you have. There's no appropriate response when you know someone is just poking a badger. When there's no indication that they actually want to talk to you, what else can you do but step back?
I really am sorry. It's so painful.

[lostsister]

moglow - the worst pain comes from the fact that her 2 boys were like my own and she controls them not having anything to do with me, my mom or dad (yep - I have the text message she meant to send to them but sent to me instead....because she constantly denied she was interfering).  I could not have children....so I spoiled those 2 to death.  Yes - I did.  Took them to Disney World, did school projects with them (when their mother said - I'm not doing them - you have to), went on school trips with them, etc. 

They won't answer their phones when we call.  They won't respond to a text message.  She had the older boy block me on facebook, twitter, etc.  The older one will now sometimes reply Thank You when I wish him a happy birthday. 

It hurts.  And then she reaches out....like she really means it.  Of course we should have learned because she did it in 2016 too.

Life with a narcissist/BPD sucks!  Totally.  I just hope a pray that she has not totally ruined her 2 boys.