Deceased Mom's Will & Trust control by my sister

[Betrayed]

My Mom recently passed and I received a copy of her Last Will and Trust document. I am single and elderly. I have one sibling (sister) married and 1 1/2 years older than I am. When my Dad was alive (20 years ago) his Will & Trust was split 50/50 with my sister. My Mom changed everything and my sisters "finger prints are all over it. I was completly removed from the Will (which had substantial money in it). And 80% of the Trust went to my sister to do with as she pleased and my 20% is going to be entirely controlled by my sister. She will have total say in what and in how I would or would not receive any money. If I should pass my percentage will go to my sisters youngest daughter (who is married). My sister and I have been estranged for over twenty years for valid reasons so this type of treatment toward me completely blind sighted me and has made me feel unloved and worthless. My sister resents me and will never want me to have any of the inheritance. (I am talking about millions of dollars in the Trust) There are clauses saying that if I contest the Trust my 20% will be immediately revoked. The Trust became Irrevocable upon my Mom's death-so it can't be changed. I contacted an attorney who said there was nothing I could do about this.

[PeanutButter]

Betrayed, you are NOT worthless! This is a reflection of a defect they have in their ability to love. I am so sorry this has happened to you. You are not alone. My husband is experiencing something very similar. Its mind boggling to try to understand why people do these kind of things.

[bloomie]

Betrayed - This has to be a painful discovery - the terms of the trust and your dependence on the choices of your sister with whom you are estranged. I am so sorry this is unfolding this way and thankful you have found us here for support as you work through circumstances beyond your control to change.

Make good use of the resources at the drop down menus above, and when you are ready join the conversations taking place on the boards. We welcome you.

[Anywhere Else]

Dear Betrayed,

I am so sorry this has happened to you. You are absolutely not worthless. Your sister was terrible to you, but that doesn't mean you're terrible! If you have ever doubted your thoughts on her character, then I think she has shown you plenty about who she really is. Regardless of what happens to the money eventually, I hope that you can use this site to help your healing, and that you can soon find peace in letting go of her.

[countrygirl]

Dear Betrayed,

I think that the laws regarding contesting wills are inhumane.  I wanted to contest one a few years ago, but after looking into it, I discovered that it is nearly impossible to do, and that people who do so often end up bankrupt, that it can take many years, etc., etc.  There was no hope. 

In my case, I so wanted to speak to my father about some things he had done, including leaving things in the hands of an incompetent and greedy executor, who worked deals with some other corrupt people in regard to a trust.  I felt betrayed and so frustrated, because I could not complain to my diseased father.  I think the executor worked on my father, as it seems that your sister worked on your mother. Yet the wills of these elderly people are held to be sacrosanct, even if they were made while the elderly were perhaps not at their strongest mentally.  The courts require that the elderly be proved to be mentally incompetent at the time the wills were written; but  some elderly people (and some that aren't elderly) can be confused and not feeling well physically and emotionally, yet not be judged to be mentally incompetent legally.

I agree with the other members who've said that it's good that you are reaching out here.   I hope that the support will be of help to you.  As with everything else, time will help some, too.  I really feel for you.