Trying To Move My Things Out

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Kat54

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Trying To Move My Things Out
« on: November 04, 2019, 12:11:23 AM »
We are very close to the end of our divorce. I have 30 days to get the rest of my things out of our home including the furniture iíve Requested. 

Went to the house yesterday, it was so stressful as the last time he harassed me, yelled and got in my face about what I was taking. He had literally laid out things for me in piles and stupidly thatís what I took. Iím so afraid of him and his intimidating me. I go in and get out as fast as I can.

My problem is I finally got my jewelry box that went missing for months and he finally produced it with some other things. Jewelry is missing. Fortunately all my really good stuff I have. Some sentimental items that I donít really where and a bracelet from my father are gone.

Over the weekend I went in to get some more things and this time brought my sister along. He would not do what he did last time with her there. Though she said she was a little nervous, she could see he was not doing well and was ready to explode.
I have a lot of personal things from my mother. One thing was a tin of rare coins that Iíve had with all her things. There are about 100 pure silver coins.
I go to get it and I told him I was specifically looking for that tin. Itís nowhere to be found. Called him about the jewelry and the rare coins. He just said he has no idea.

The attic meanwhile looks like he recently has reorganized it with new boxes labeled, Plastic bins. So I know heís come across those coins, And now they are gone.

Iíll tell my lawyer and will go back into the house and try again to find whatís rightfully mine. In reality Iím not taking much. He has the list on the counter with it checked and highlighted as to what Iím taking.

Heís so twisted his PD mind is ready to explode because he doesnít have control. Him making piles and highlighting the list is his effort to control the situation.

My next visit will hopefully be covert. Iíve always announced when Iím coming. Iíll consult with my lawyer but next visit will be unannounced and when heís at work. And Iíll only be taking whatís mine.

My brother in law had said months ago to get things out of there. He knew and was not surprised at what heís done. Guess I was in the FOG and thought I could trust him. Stupid me, Lesson learned.

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Poison Ivy

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Re: Trying To Move My Things Out
« Reply #1 on: November 04, 2019, 12:39:55 AM »
When my friend and her ex were cleaning out their house after they sold it, she gave him a list of things she wanted.  When she went to the house to get the things, several of them were not there. Not a surprise but infuriating nevertheless.

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Spygirl

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Re: Trying To Move My Things Out
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2019, 01:36:43 AM »
I vote for the unannouced visit when he is not there. I bet the stuff you want is all in one spot. Take a friend along.

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notrightinthehead

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Re: Trying To Move My Things Out
« Reply #3 on: November 04, 2019, 03:42:58 AM »
Definitely take someone along. Don't go there on your own. He might have stored the things you are missing outside the house if you can't find them.

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Kat54

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Re: Trying To Move My Things Out
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2019, 12:13:26 PM »
I'll take someone along again. I asked my lawyer if I can go into my house unannounced when he's at work to look for what is mine. He advised against doing that. He wants me to tell him what is missing and he would pass that onto my ex's lawyer, which means I'll likely never see any of it again. 

My plan is to try one more time, tell him I'm coming and looking for the particular items and bring a family member or friend. If he's smart he'll get it and have it waiting for me. He did that with my jewelry box, even though he went through it and took things he finally had it out for me.  I looked and looked for a couple months, I knew he had it hidden somewhere.

If I end up never getting it back I'll be fine its just stuff.  I have been as fair as possible, generous on the price of the house. The contents, I'm taking a fraction of what I'm entitled to.  He's treated me pretty badly, yet he hangs out with my family, getting invited to weddings and holiday's!  That will change if he keeps this up. My sibling who I am very close to are trying to stay neutral and keep him a part of our family, which I encouraged. Foolishly I thought we could have a good relationship post divorce, but that was when I was still in the FOG.  His family is very dysfunctional and most of them he doesn't speak to.

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notrightinthehead

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Re: Trying To Move My Things Out
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2019, 06:02:24 PM »
Maybe once you are out completely you can ask your family to protect you from news about him and not tell him anything about you for a while, so that you can heal.

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EnufZnuf

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Re: Trying To Move My Things Out
« Reply #6 on: November 06, 2019, 09:52:18 AM »
I am dreading the same. Can you get a professional security guard and or police presence?